As domestic abuse response workers, we sometimes meet survivors following them reporting abuse to the police’Often this can be their first time disclosing digital abuse. The first response survivors receive from workers like you, workers like us, is significant. It can shape their experience of feeling safe, believed and supported. 

Ensure the following:

  • Environment – calm, safe and private. 

Provide a private, calm and safe space for survivors to disclose, ensuring their safety first. Check the environment – make sure the space is safe from the possibility of eavesdropping, and away from anyone who may be listening or might impact on the disclosure being made. Some cases of stalking have involved listening devices and if the victim is disclosing in the house to police, the perpetrator could find out via a device/camera/Ring doorbell. This could lead them to subject the victim to more abuse, and/or to remove / tamper with devices whic a court case may depend on. Avoid overwhelming with complex questions. The first disclosure is an opportunity to build trust and rebuild a sense of control for survivors. 

  • Validate and Empower

Acknowledge their courage and validate – digital abuse can leave people feeling vulnerable, and exposed. Our role is to listen, not instruct – avoid saying things such as “you should”, “you need to do”. Reassure survivors that they are in control. Avoid minimising digital abuse – it is real, purposeful and intentional. 

  • Safety Plan

Construct a safety plan around the survivor experience. Avoid technical fixes – changing passwords, deleting content may alert abusers and put the survivor at further risk. Explore the risks. Have they been threatened with image distribution? Is their location monitored? Is their device monitored? Were they asked to download any apps?

  • Provide safe signposting for ongoing support 

National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247

Refuge Tech Abuse Support – Online and digital abuse – Women’s Aid

If at immediate risk, call 999 – press 55 if you cannot speak 

Refer to local IDVA service – with consent

  • Close with reassurance 

Re-iterate that they are believed, reassure that ongoing support is available and that they are not alone. “You’ve done the right thing by reaching out. You are not alone and we’ll work through this safely together”.

  • Self-care

Hearing first disclosures in relation to digital abuse can be heavy. Debrief with colleagues and engage with clinical supervision to ensure your own wellbeing. 

Each first disclosure is a turning point. Your calm, empowering response can help rebuild trust and safety in real world and digital spaces.

#16days #NoExcuse and #ACTtoEndViolence