Aurora New Dawn is pleased to announce the following job vacancy:

Female ^* Aurora New Dawn DVA Car™ Advocate
AURORA NEW DAWN DVA CARS™

Aurora New Dawn is a female-led charity dedicated to ending violence and abuse against women and girls. Since 2011, we have offered safety, support, advocacy, and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence, and stalking. One of the core ways that we do this is through our DVA Car™ service.

Our DVA Cars™ provide a service whereby every Friday and Saturday night, trained staff head out in police patrol cars to work alongside Hampshire Constabulary to attend reports of domestic abuse. We also run an out of hours helpline so that victims always have somewhere to turn. The aim is to offer independent support and advice to victims and survivors during that window of opportunity: the moment they make the choice to reach out for help. We are now on the lookout for a caring, empathetic and compassionate individual to join our DVA Car™ advocate team.

The candidate will be passionate about supporting survivors of domestic violence and abuse and wants to play a pivotal role in helping victims at the point of crisis. You will be working as part of a collaborative and passionate team, all dedicated to helping women feel seen, heard, and understood.

Whilst experience and knowledge of domestic abuse is a benefit, it is not essential – it is more important to us that we find the right person who can truly support and guide our clients.

Hours of work

Part-time:	30.5 Hours per week (weekend and evening work) 4 shifts per month working with the police. Remaining hours working from home.
Salary	Scale 7: £22,221 per annum, pro rata
Duration:	Funding until September 2024 (possible extension subject to further funding)
Location	Portsmouth and Home Based

*PLEASE NOTE: This post is restricted to female applicants in accordance with Schedule 9 (part 1) of the Equality Act 2010

The Role

This role comprises of two parts, worked on a bi-weekly rotation basis and totalling a 30.5 hours per week:

Week one:

1. To provide an out-of-hours, face-to-face crisis response to incidents of domestic violence working alongside officers from Hampshire Constabulary.
   Friday and Saturday: 17.00hrs – 03.00hrs
2. Out of Hours DVA Helpline – working from home.
   Monday – Friday: 1700-0800hrs
   Saturday – Sunday: either: 0800hrs – 1700hrs or 1700hrs – 0800hrs

Week two:

1. Out of Hours DVA Helpline – working from home (combination of shifts below)
   Monday – Friday: 1700-0800hrs
   Saturday – Sunday: either: 0800hrs – 1700hrs or 1700hrs – 0800hrs

To apply:

For an informal chat about this role please call Lyn Tiller on 02392 479254

To apply please send a CV, covering letter and diversity form to recruitment@aurorand.org.uk, detailing why you think you are suitable for the post. Please add ‘DVA Car™ Advocate’ in the subject heading.

You are advised to read the job description and person specification carefully as the decision to shortlist you for interview will be based on the information you provide in your letter.

Applications are particularly welcome from black and minoritised women.

NB: We do not accept CV’s as an application method.

To save on administration costs we are not able to contact you if your application is unsuccessful, but I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for your interest in our work.

Closing date: Please note there is no closing date for this post, we will keep the vacancy open until we have successfully appointed to the role. We therefore encourage you to please submit your application as early as possible.

Interviews – tbc (Interviews will be conducted via face to face, Zoom or Microsoft Teams)

Important documents:

To download a copy of the Female^*Aurora New Dawn DVA Car™ Advocate job description, click here.

To download a copy of the Aurora New Dawn diversity form, click here.

How can you help?

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What is 16 Days of Action?

The 25th of November marks the start of 16 days of action. This is because the 25th is the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (IDEVAW 2020), for 16 days from then to the 10th of December (Human Rights Day) you can take action to support women and girls and raise the profile of male violence against them.

For our 16 days of action we wanted, as always, to keep victims central to everything we do. That is why we asked for their voices. We thank them for trusting us and to any victims and survivors out there we are here for you 24/7 – reach out.

We believe you – 02394 216 816

16 Days of Action Quotes from victims and survivors

1. “It is all in your own time and it is all when you feel ready”. (DA Survivor – Anon)
2. “Although I wish I had have recognised the abuse earlier talking to someone openly and honestly about what I have experienced helps me understand that I am not to blame.” (DA Survivor – Anon)
3. “Never stop fighting for your freedom, you are worth it” (DA survivor – Anon)
4. “Being able to make a cup of coffee, in my own kitchen, without fear is the best thing imaginable” (DA survivor – Anon)
5. “You mean more to people than you realise, believe in yourself as much as your friends believe in you and you will break free” (DA Survivor – Anon)
6. “There is always light at the end of the tunnel” (DA survivor – Anon)
7. “It is tough to make the decision to leave, but when you do, and you have the support around you to do so, it is good and it is worth it. It is good to talk. You must always talk to people to get through it.” (DA survivor – Anon)
8. “I stood up for myself and I’ve shown him I’ve stood up for myself so it’s been worth it” (Sexual Violence Survivor – Anon)
9. “My children are the silent witnesses to the coercive and controlling behaviour which governed our lives. Although they are moving forwards, they, like me, are strong and practised against the dominator, we will always remember the fear of the unexpected, be vigilant to the change of tone, the treading of eggshells and the ultimate questioning of ‘self’. I now teach such abused children and I bear witness to the lasting damage to those children who have witnessed this abuse. I urge every authority to be vigilant of every health appointment being missed, any child unexpectedly being removed from school and the questionable responsibility of a new stepfather. This voice is sent especially to the Armed Forces to acknowledge and pay respect to the voices of the wives and children of the culpable perpetrators. It is OK not to be ok but it is NOT ok to do nothing about it.” (Sandy Noble – DA Survivor)
10. “I just want to tell other women that when you feel like you are falling there is a whole army of us ready to catch you. You don’t need to explain because we have lived it, we know, we see, we are here for you and we believe you.” (Shonagh CEO)
11. “Do not look in his eyes for answers. Do not look to him for kindness. Don’t hold your eyes down when he tells you you’re dirt. Look up. Look for women. Listen to what they tell you. Block your ears to his poison. Let women’s love show you the way out and then never look at him again. See your future clearly. It will be bright and clear and you will shine in it.” (Jean Hatchet – Survivor of Male Violence)
12. “It’s not your fault, whatever has happened you did not “deserve it” no one deserves this treatment or abuse eventually the torment and pain will make you question what is actually happening, don’t be afraid to get help. Don’t let them win, fight with every ounce of strength you have left, especially in those really dark times when you cannot see the way forward, you feel worthless or question everything you do and why you are doing it. The true you will come through this, you will win this battle, don’t allow the shame and embarrassment to ruin your life further, there are people out there who genuinely care and love you for who you are.” (Childhood Sexual Abuse survivor – Anon)
13. “My father died three years ago and at 52yrs old this was the first time in my life I felt free from his control and bullying. The sense of fear never leaves you but with therapy and support you learn how to manage it. On his deathbed the Dr told me all I could do now was hold his hand and tell him how much I loved him – my heart sunk because I simply couldn’t do that but wanted more than anything to be like a “normal” grieving daughter; he took that away from me. I can’t change my lived experience and now use it to train the police and support victims – without my childhood experiences I wouldn’t have the empathy and emotional intelligence I now possess nor the passion for the work I am privileged to do. Every cloud has a silver lining and I have turned my bad experiences into a positive – I have chosen not to let my past define me as a person and to find happiness. Never underestimate the long term impact of DA on children”. (Childhood survivor of DVA – Anon)
14. “You might not think you are strong enough to leave, but you are. You might not think you can cope, but you can. Look at what you’re coping with already. There is a brighter future without abuse, where you can be yourself. Reach out, ask for help. Change your life.” (Rebecca – DA survivor)
15. “What would I tell other women? Whatever I did say when I opened my mouth, it sure as shit wouldn’t be judgmental or dismissive. I would open my ears, and my heart to help women. My connection with other women in the aftermath of fatal abuse is essential to my mental and physical well-being. Women helped my healing. Protecting myself through the sharing of knowledge, experience and activism, telling Dawn’s story. Reach out. There are Women who will help you get to a life you want, free from abuse.” (Kirsty – Sister to Dawn Rhodes a victim of Domestic Abuse)
16. “Those days that you feel you cannot continue, remind yourself that it is your own strength that gets you through. That cannot be taken. You are a survivor. From one survivor to another, you are believed and you are not alone. “Inner Strength Cannot Be Broken”” (Gina, Advocate – Aurora New Dawn).
17. “My dad was abusive to my mum when I was a child, and some of my earliest memories are of feeling afraid for her and for myself. There was no support for me when I was a child. We weren’t picked up by social services, my school didn’t notice, no one ever asked me whether anything was wrong at home. I am often amazed that now, almost 40 years later, there is still little dedicated support for children who have lived alongside or directly suffered domestic abuse. We recover from the scars left on our bodies, but those left unseen in our minds may never heal. The effects last a lifetime, and if I had one wish for IDEVAW 2020 it would be to improve support and funding for services, not only for adult victims of abuse but for children. If I could travel back in time, I would tell that little girl who was me just one thing: It’s not your fault.” (Sarah – Childhood Survivor of Domestic Abuse)
18. “I am a survivor of domestic abuse experienced some thirty or more years ago. Back then, for a long time, I did not believe I could leave, or that I would be able to survive and look after my children if I did. But eventually, I did leave, and though living as a single parent was really hard, it became the best decision I ever made. It turned out everything my husband had told me about myself and what I was capable of was wrong. I could stand on my own two feet, I could manage alone, I could look after my children. For IDEVAW 2020, I want to tell any woman who is in the same position today as I was then: you deserve to be happy, you have the right to be free, and you deserve a life without fear or self-doubt. It’s ok to be afraid, and you’re not alone, there are people waiting to help you – just like the amazing team at Aurora. And whenever you’re ready, you can do this. We’re with you.” (Angela – Survivor of Domestic abuse)
19. “I am sixty eight and I am a survivor of domestic abuse. When I was twenty two, my husband was failing at university, flunking the course and not attending lectures. He drank heavily and began taking his misery out on me. He throttled me repeatedly and broke my rib. Everything was my fault. He told me I was a rotten wife (I believed him) and that he had conjugal rights. There were rapes and still I did not leave him. I had nowhere to go as I had left home to escape abuse.

    “I eventually found the courage to leave, walking out a couple of years later with nothing but the clothes on my back, my purse and five pairs of knickers in a plastic bag. No car, no mobile. Nowhere to go but a friend’s sofa. I’ve never felt so alone, but it was the best thing I have ever done. Nothing comes close to the amount of courage that took. My life changed completely, for the better, from that moment. I’m so proud of me.

    “I took far too long to leave. I took far too long to get help. However I did it. And I survived. Everything I have done since, all the successes in my life, started from that moment. I have made a fantastic life for myself. The anger still burns, but I healed.

    “Unfortunately, my history is a familiar tale to so many people reading this. I just wish I could go back and talk to that young girl that I was. What would I say?”

    1. It is not your fault.

    

    2. Leaving is so hard because your confidence is destroyed, you feel trapped. Nothing will ever feel as bad as this.
    3. Phone for help. Tell someone. Phone Aurora New Dawn. Listen; they have ways to keep you and your family safe, and when you are ready, you can escape.
    4. You are worth so much more than this.
    5. You are not alone. So many people can understand what you are going through, and can help you in all sorts of ways. I started telling a few trusted friends about my early life, as I got older. What amazed me was how many said: “Oh, that happened to me.”
    6. You can survive this, and once you have, your life can begin again and you will realise how good life can be ….. and that you can survive anything.

    (Valerie – survivor of Domestic Abuse)

How can you help?

You can help Aurora raise vital funds during the COVID19 pandemic:

You can find out more about 16 days of action here.

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to help us raise awareness?

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Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

In domestic situations, spilling the beans is by no means easy, always a messy business.
And letting the cat out the bag means someone gets the nine tails and the boot. I’ll take it.
Pulling the plug means the baby goes out with the bath water.
So I’m keeping it under wraps behind closed doors.

Spilling the beans is by no means easy.
“Do I look alright?” Brigadier Debonair-Wordsmith asks the mirror. That is a rhetorical question.
Kettle always full and all is squared away.
Spit and polished and spurs jingling, medals swinging, I adore him.
The Ward Room waits and The Mess will follow.
“Sir! Ma’am! (All to attention) Punch Sir?”
(No that’s for me, my Just Desserts.)
“Whore!” “Bitch!” “Disgusting human being!”
But spilling the beans is by no means easy.

Letting the cat out the bag means the boot after all those years of service.
The few friends are invited round but the grief, oh the grief… Is it worth it?
“Can’t you do anything right?”
“Just do as I tell you”
(I do, I really do but tip-toeing on eggshells does take its toll you know, this my Testament of Duty.)
Already tanked up and ready to impress and charm the guests with insight and then when alone bear the brunt of his excess; always the upper hand.
And I will keep the cat in again tonight.

I cannot pull the plug; he said “they’d never believe me…
“You see, if I wanted to kill you, I really would kill you”
Green-faced, bruised and wrists Chinese-burnt
I sit in a hot bath (the hotter the better), burning to know… to melt the numbness, the nothingness that I am, to revive sensation.
Talking to myself, talking to myself
Girlfriends long-gone given up the ghost
When at most I text ‘love to catch-up soon x’
I am in hot water. No Plan A, no Plan B or C or D.
For he is my Baby, my foot-stamping all-controlling Baby
And they would believe me if I pulled the plug and the Baby went out with the bath water.

Behind closed doors and all under wraps
Sit Silence, Assault and Battery while the vile smell of Threat and Control hangs in the air.
“Your word against mine” People listen to me; they love me.”
(Do I care? That is a rhetorical question.)
A shadow of a former self, I sit in view of the garden, looking out for a focal point that never appears.
Staring, waiting, not actually caring about anything now; just waiting for the stumbling drunken entry and unwelcome encore of more fork-tongued abuse to be kept behind closed doors of this, my prison.

Happy Hour Cocktails of Back-Flips, Bites and Punches diluted with the usual seducing Hug Tonic
“Come on…Come on” as he pats my back, “Let’s have a cuddle”
Abusing the punch bag, Abusing the privilege of a wife who at times can just about see the faint outline of her Man’s former self.

Abusing the Privilege, Abusing the concerns of those Brothers in Arms who remain faithful.
Eyes blind-folded, mouths gagged
And hands, trying hard to keep the sound down and the lid on the well known tin of Domestic Silence and Abuse.

I’d had the authority to call the Authorities but had declined the privilege
For fear of the inevitable Messy Business
Of the spilt beans and ensuing insane anger and denial
And the fear of ultimate loss of my lover, my husband.

It was the nth Threat cubed to Life which triggered the chain of events which severed the cycle
And put pay to Hope upon Hope squared that the angry eye of the storm would one day cease and that the New Dawn would welcome Peace, a stranger into our home.

Bruised but not alone in the kitchen and they do follow me, they wrap themselves around me to the point of strangulation Guilt, Loss and Isolation.
“Oh Lord, have I done wrong?..”

Sandy Noble

How can you help?

You can help Aurora raise vital funds during the COVID19 pandemic:

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to help us raise awareness?

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Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

The last time I wrote a blog was in March, it’s now November and the months have flown past in a busy haze, we are a week or so into the second lockdown and as the first lockdown saw 16 women murdered by men in the first 3 weeks, we are desperately worried about what this means for the many victims and survivors isolated by perpetrators. It’s Saturday morning and I am sat at my desk at home, the light is dull and the rain is relentless, I would usually be watching my daughter’s football match, but lockdown has stopped those too, so I have unplanned time on my hands. I am avoiding working on my thesis (understandable), so I thought I would indulge myself a little and allow myself a moment to reflect the last few months on the frontline in the male violence against women sector.

Every week either myself, the Community project manager (Lyn) or Operations manager (Zoe), take it in turns to provide the on call management for the staff who are womaning the phones on our 24/7 domestic abuse helpline (our main service response to the COVID19 pandemic). Being on call to them is both a privilege and a pleasure, I love chatting to the staff and one of the greatest things about the pandemic is that it has allowed me to do this much more often. The women I work with are funny, and kind, and fierce, and passionately angry about the injustices of the victims they seek to support. Bookending my day with a call in the morning to them and a call at night (with intermittent calls about survivors needs over the 24/7 period) has led me back to where I belong.

My job title for the last 9 years has been CEO, for a small charity it is a role that requires flexibility and I just approach it as a roll your sleeves up and get stuck in kind of job… but my heart is never too far away from the frontline. It is easy to drift away from frontline provision when you work in senior management, especially when you have the awesome team of staff that I do, but my passion still lies in the real work. It’s the simple stuff that makes me tick, the phone calls late at night the messages I get on social media of women asking for help, the calls with my colleagues about cases they are working on, the angry rants between us as team members about survivors being systematically let down or not believed. I love to approach our work with a sense of tenacious defiance and that keeps me going.

Do I get tired? Yes of course, we all do. Working in the male violence against women sector feels like a relentless marathon sometimes and it is exhausting (Shout out to all the other sisters in the sector working all hours!). But it isn’t the victims and survivors who exhaust me. Quite the contrary, speaking to them or supporting the staff to support them is the antithesis of exhaustion it relights the fire in my belly every time I have the privilege to do it.

Apart from the endless funding bids I write, the exhaustion for me is the feeling that women are still not being heard. Although a great deal of strides have been made to improve things, as a sex class, we as women* still face the global reality of male violence against us. Having had the honour of working in this movement for a long time, I have listened and born witness to hundreds of singular stories from women about the torture that men have subjected their bodies and minds to. Each story makes up a collective narrative of the reality of male violence and the abuse against them is not abating (our helpline has dealt with over 1,500 calls since March 30th).

Opening our services 24/7 was a risky idea, both financially and resource wise, but it has worked and we will continue for as long as we can. For me it paid off in a personal way that cannot be quantified financially. It reminded me of my roots, of where I started, and of the simplicity of provision that survivors want and need. It really is as basic as an empathetic voice, a listening ear and the beginning of empowering survivors to start to believe that they can trust us. Most importantly, as with all specialist service provision, it is the starting point of being the voice in opposition to the perpetrators narrative.

Our helpline is not part of our usual service provision outside of COVID19 and usual service will resume after the pandemic. But the experience has offered me, as the CEO, the opportunity to reflect on the simplicity of accessibility that survivors want and need.

The last six months reminds me I need to work hard to ensure the access points for all survivors should never be complicated. Of course all charities like Aurora are bound by resources and we can only work to levels we are funded for, which means for some services we only have one advocate, for a vast area. That means in order to offer a safe service for our existing clients we sometimes have to close our books on our referral pathways, we always do this with a heavy heart, but until I win the lottery or services like ours are funded in full response to capacity needs, it is a reality we have to work with.

But we can learn from our helpline provision, which is never closed! The service has evidenced that 44% of victims and survivors called the helpline for information and advice only, they didn’t want or, at that time, need an onward referral for a case working service. To that end, and in keeping with our ethos of victims and survivors as our central priority, I am going to work on dedicating a page on our website for simple guidance and advice for all service provision. On a selfish level it means I get the excuse to keep the connection with the women* I care so deeply about.

I want to apologise to the survivors Aurora was set up to serve, that I didn’t think to do this sooner. I guess sometimes it takes a crisis to remind us what the basic simple things are and then use it as a catalyst to reflect and build back up from there.

It might take me a few months past the pandemic to do this but I pledge to make it happen, although right now, I really should stop avoiding my bloody thesis…

Shonagh Dillon

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

If you are in Hampshire our domestic abuse helpline is open 24/7 – call us on 02394 216 816 #WeBelieveYou.

You can help Aurora raise vital funds during the COVID19 pandemic:

* Rather than waste my time answering the trolls on social media, I thought it best to write an addendum to this post:

In anticipation of the ‘what about the men’ questions – all our one to one services are open to men, including the helpline. I do not deny that men can be victims too and when they access our services, we treat them with empathy, care and respect they all deserve. But as is statistically evidenced men don’t experience intimate partner violence to the same levels that women do. That doesn’t mean I don’t think they don’t deserve services it just means there aren’t as many of them which is why I centre women in my work.

My career has been informed by feminist practice and it is on that basis that I will not appease men’s rights activists by denying the material reality of male violence and the oppression of women as a sex class. If you disagree with my stance, I can only apologise that you had to get to the end of this blog to find that out.

Next step…

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The world looks very different now from how it looked when we delivered our cyber safety stalking training sessions last year.

Since lock-down started in March 2020, cyber-stalking has been an area of increasing national interest. We have been contacted by funders and researchers asking about how lock-down has affected cyber-stalking rates, with many expecting it to significantly increase.

One of the challenges of stalking behaviours online is that they can be very hard to detect and we do not yet have the data to know how stalking has changed, if at all, with restrictions on our movement and the increased use of technology, including platforms that many of us have not used previously.

With this in mind, we wanted to make sure that you have access to the most up to date information about digital safety options to ensure that you and the people you work with feel secure online.

We recommend, whenever you use a technology that is new to you, to take a look at any security concerns, as these are usually widely reported online, along with help around how you can safely use these services.

Cyber Safety Top Tips

Here are some of the cyber safety top tips that we discussed throughout the training:

• Be aware of information available online – complete a search for yourself to see what comes up
• Make a list of all of your accounts and the information that you find about yourself, go through each one and check privacy settings, change your password, or delete the account
• Use a password manager – more information can be found here
• Set up two factor authentication for your accounts
• Set clear boundaries around information you want to share online
• Go through your friends and contacts on social media so that you are confident that you are only sharing information with people that you trust
• Be aware of information that others are sharing about you online (such as posting pictures on Facebook & Instagram on public facing profiles that you are then tagged in)
• Spyware can be difficult to detect on devices. Look out for any strange apps, a battery which rapidly deteriorates or be careful for any links that you may have opened in messages
• Install anti-virus, including on mobile devices
• Install software updates as they become available on your devices
• Avoid the use of public WiFi. If you need to use it, consider installing a Virtual Private Network (VPN) – Find out how here.

How to Help Others Stay Safe Online

If a colleague, friend or family member discloses that they are worried they are being stalked always listen to the victim and their fears. It can also be helpful to encourage victims to keep a diary of any instances, including screenshots of messages or any other digital evidence. This will help if and when the victim would like to report to the police.

If someone approaches you with concerns about being contacted or pursued online, in order to best understand the level of access and risk, here are some key questions to ask:

• Is the cyber stalker known to the victim?
• Is the victim aware of their technological knowledge?
• If they were in a relationship previously – what is linked?

As ever, if there is anything Aurora can do to offer advice, support or assistance, please do not hesitate to contact us.

Our stalking advocacy team, which includes a digital media investigations specialist, is available Monday to Friday, 9am-5pm on 02392 479 254.

Please send any email enquiries to our secure email: stalking@aurorand.org.uk

Here is a recent case study for a client we have worked with and the support she received from the service

Rebecca’s Story

Useful information

Aurora’s stalking advocacy team phone number: 02392 479 254
Aurora’s stalking advocacy team e-mail: stalking@aurorand.org.uk

Aurora article on cyber stalking	https://www.aurorand.org.uk/news/cyber-stalking
Cyber Stalking Helpline	https://www.thecyberhelpline.com/cyberstalking-action-plan
Revenge Porn Helpline	https://revengepornhelpline.org.uk/
Stalking and Harassment Legal Guidance	https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/stalking-and-harassment
National Stalking Helpline	https://www.suzylamplugh.org/refer-someone-to-us
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on how to set up two factor authentication	https://serocu.police.uk/2fa
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on WiFi and VPNs	https://serocu.police.uk/risky-wifi
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on managing passwords	https://serocu.police.uk/passwords
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – staying safe online	https://serocu.police.uk/individuals

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to know more about our stalking service?

Click here to see our stalking service

Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

Aurora’s 24/7 helpline 02394 216 816

Aurora’s Stalking Service Manager, Lucy Kay, caught up with Detective Inspector James Stewart to talk about the work that Hampshire Constabulary undertake around stalking and whether this has been changing in the lock-down.

What is Hampshire’s Multi-Agency Stalking Intervention Project (MASIP)?

Since 2012, Hampshire has led the way nationally on multi-agency stalking work, and I’m incredibly proud of our accomplishments. The multi-agency approach means that we have a range of professionals that come together from different backgrounds to talk about and respond to stalking cases across Hampshire. It means that we are able to bring our different perspectives together to help tackle the problem.

Over the last few years we have expanded further, with the support of multiple agencies and the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, alongside Cheshire and London.

MASIP has enabled the Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust to develop a stalking specialist mental health team, improved the way we respond as the Police, and increased advocacy provision available to victims via Aurora New Dawn.

This has resulted in a better response to stalking across Hampshire.

How has police response improved due to the intervention project?

For the past two years an experienced Detective Constable has been appointed to the role of Force Stalking coordinator. It is their job to provide specialist, tactical advice on all stalking cases and offer support and advice to officers who are investigating stalking.

How does the MASIP team work?

We meet weekly to review stalking cases from Police, Probation, Mental Health services and Aurora. It is our job to make sure that we are working together to improve the lives of victims of stalking.

Every month we hold a stalking clinic, to assist with complex cases. All partners attend this meeting as well as a lawyer from the Crown Prosecution Service. The investigating officer presents the case so that we can offer the best possible support and advice on the opportunities to safeguard the victim and support the investigation.

All multi-agency partners work together to provide a best practice, collective response to stalking and the voices of all of the clinic partners are equal in this.

How have the challenges of Covid-19 and the lock-down changed this approach?

We continue to work together to share information, identify risk and look at opportunities to increase safeguarding and support. Whilst we are unable to meet in the same room, meetings are now held over the phone to ensure that there is no impact on our ability to identify and work together on high risk, complex and concerning cases of stalking.

Hampshire Police are undeterred in our commitment to deliver a service for this hugely impactful crime type.

What makes victim advocacy so important to the process?

Victim advocacy is so important given the significant impact crimes of stalking has on victims. To be able to ensure that victims receive such a professional, informed and compassionate level of advocacy support means that the overall response to this crime is truly holistic.

What would you say to victims of stalking who are thinking about reporting, but are worried about the situation and not being taken seriously?

Report to us. We are constantly working to make sure that we are providing the best possible service to victims of stalking and you will be taken seriously. We will listen to your concerns and make sure that you are offered the appropriate level of support.

If you are being stalked, or are concerned that you might be, please report via 999 or 101. If you are not sure and would like some support and advice, please contact Aurora New Dawn on 02394 216 816.

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Detective Inspector James Stewart is the Tactical Force Lead for Stalking for Hampshire Constabulary. James and his colleagues from Hampshire Constabulary work alongside Aurora New Dawn, Southern Health NHS Foundation Trust and the National Probation Service to deliver Hampshire’s Multi-Agency Stalking Intervention Project (MASIP).

Aurora’s 24/7 helpline 02394 216 816

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to know more about our stalking service?

Click here to see our stalking service

Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

I came into contact with the advocacy service when a colleague from work passed on the details of the organisation to me. I was working for a mental health team and a former service user had begun to stalk me. This involved multiple phone calls and a deluge of emails with inappropriate content, frequent complaints to my manager as well as the person presenting at my workplace at times when I would usually be arriving and leaving, following me into the car park and photographing my car. This continued even after the police has been informed and had stated that it must not continue. Measures were put in place so that I travelled to work with a colleague and used a different entrance but this was not sustainable. The police were again involved and indicated that the person would be charged with stalking. I found the whole situation extremely distressing and felt scared and vulnerable. I was signed off from work with stress and was later informed that the person who was stalking me had gone to the home of someone with a similar name to mine believing it was where I lived.

When my advocate first contacted me I was feeling extremely vulnerable and anxious and was having frequent thoughts that the person would find me. Several times during this period I believed that the person was in my house, in the back of the car when I was driving or following me in another vehicle. My advocate replied to my initial email the same afternoon that it was sent and arranged to speak on the phone the following day. I don’t recall much about the first phone call but I remember feeling that I was not alone and reassured that I now had practical advice and specialist support to begin to deal with the situation. We arranged to meet in person the following week and she made a great deal of effort to find a location where I would feel as safe as possible, I remember feeling very scared and curling up on a sofa and holding cushions tightly for support whilst we spoke. My advocate helped me to understand some of the feelings that I was experiencing, gave me information about stalking behaviour which helped me to process what was happening as well as strategies to get me through the next few days.

One of the main feelings that I had at this time was of being alone and isolated from other people. Despite having a caring partner, close friends and supportive work colleagues I found it difficult to talk about the situation or seek help with it as I struggled to make sense of it. My advocate was someone who was always there at every stage of the process and this helped me to feel less alone. She encouraged me to prepare things to say to work colleagues and friends which helped me to be around people rather than avoiding them as it could feel too painful to hear or talk about the situation or to deal with the emotions that this provoked in others.

My advocate worked with me to identify the support that I needed. As well as ongoing emotional support and acceptance, we developed safety plans and she helped me plan to return to work. Furthermore, she accompanied me on a visit to the courtroom prior to the trial date. I particularly struggled with decision making during this period and she helped me to understand my decision making style and how to encourage this and explore all options. She also helped me to look after my own health and on 2 occasions encouraged me to seek support from my GP when I was unable to recognise that my anxiety and trauma symptoms needed to be addressed.

My case went to the CPS and a decision was made to start legal proceedings. This was a really challenging time for me as I experienced a sense of conflict in being involved with the legal process against someone who I had met through work and my role had been to offer support with mental health difficulties. My advocate was particularly skilled at helping me to separate my feelings. She also provided reassurance when I went through periods of questioning my own actions and feeling that I was an unskilled practitioner and had made mistakes which led to the stalking behaviour.

The police were really supportive, but work shifts and deal with many cases so it was not always possible to speak to an officer dealing with my situation. Whereas I was always able to contact my advocate who could liaise with them on my behalf. I found that I was very sensitive to the way that I was given information as I found the situation so distressing. It was particularly difficult when speaking to the court or witness care team as I had not had the opportunity to build up a relationship with them. My advocate was able to provide information, that was at times difficult for me to hear, in a way that I could deal with and so I arranged that she was the main contact for me. She was also able to liaise with the security team at my organisation or anyone else if I felt unable to do so as she understood that at times the situation became overwhelming and it was helpful to have a break.

She had many different suggestions of techniques that may help, I found visualisation particularly useful. We also talked about managing my expectations about how I was dealing with the situation, at times I put pressure on myself. I worked in mental health and felt that I should be able to cope and also that I did not want to add to the pressure on my colleagues by having time off sick. We had an agreement that some days just getting through the day was enough, and I still use this now.

She was also able to normalise my feelings by giving me information about typical reactions in certain situations. A recent example is that I still feel very wary about sharing my contact details in a context that is far removed from the situation. Knowing that others who have been through similar situations feel the same way helps me to rationalise the feeling and gives me confidence that it will lessen over time.

During this time I have tried many different approaches to help me to manage the situation. I had regular sessions with a counsellor, met with a homeopath and use yoga to help to deal with the excess adrenaline that anxiety produces. All these things have been really helpful but the one service that I could not have done without is advocacy. At times I have written notes to myself, looking back at them now, one of them says that my advocate “just gets it”. I struggled with low mood at times during the process and wrote gratitude lists to help to find positivity, my number one was that my advocate was on my side and believed in me.

I did not get the outcome that I would have liked or I think was right, but my advocate helped me to reconcile myself to accept this and find ways to concentrate on my future and leave the stalker in the past. There are many problems with the legal process, I think particularly when the person who has been charged with stalking has mental health issues. It is difficult to affect change but ensuring that all victims have access to advocacy ensures that they have support to deal with the process. This process can be really difficult and at times bewildering to be involved in, particularly if you have had no previous involvement with the court process.

I have found it very difficult to put into words how much my advocate has helped me, as she has empowered me to deal with situations that I would previously not have thought possible. When I think about everything I have been through I know that I would not have been able to do it without her.

Aurora’s 24/7 helpline 02394 216 816

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to know more about our stalking service?

Click here to see our stalking service

Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

In our current state of lock-down, it is increasingly important for us to look at the risks of cyber-stalking and cyber safety. With our access to the physical world restricted and more of our time being spent online, this article will look at how cyber-stalking fits within the broader topic of stalking, how to capture evidence and increase your safety online and where to seek help.

Aurora’s 24/7 helpline 02394 216 816

Understanding stalking

Stalking is a unique crime. It occurs outside of the context of a relationship, it is driven by the fixation and obsession of the stalker and each stalking incident is different. It is a long-term pattern of behaviour that can last for weeks, months or even years. The psychological impact of persistent stalking can be absolutely devastating.

Stalking legislation has been in place in England and Wales since 2012 and our laws outline examples of behaviours that we often see throughout stalking conduct. The behaviours include, but are not limited to, watching or spying on someone, following them, contacting them directly or via other people, loitering and interfering with property.

Whilst we often see digital and physical monitoring within abusive relationships, stalking occurs when there is no relationship, or after the end of a relationship, where one person does not want any form of contact and the other continues to impose it on them regardless.

Who are Stalkers?

A stalker could be an ex-partner, a previous friend, a colleague, a neighbour, an acquaintance or a stranger.

Stalkers are not a homogenous group, they are motivated to engage in a pattern of stalking conduct for a range of different reasons, including seeking reconciliation or revenge after the end of relationship, looking for romantic attachment, pursuing an imagined connection, or enacting revenge for seeming or actual injustice.

Within groups where there are similar motivations, we still see significant variation across stalkers, which is part of the reason that it is a unique crime and whilst we have legislation to investigate and prosecute stalking, we do not currently have a legal definition for stalking.

A definition of stalking

At Aurora, we use the definition from our colleagues at the Suzy Lamplugh Trust, who run the National Stalking Helpline:

“A pattern of fixated and obsessive behaviour which is repeated, persistent, intrusive and causes fear of violence or engenders alarm and distress in the victim.”

Is cyber-stalking different?

In most of the cases that are reviewed and referred into our Hampshire service, we see a combination of online and offline behaviours in stalking conduct.

Whilst the motivations are often the same on and offline and the legislation covers both, it can be useful to understand how people use technology and digital spaces as part of, or as their entire stalking conduct.

As we are currently in a state of lock-down, we are expecting to see an increase in the use of technology and digital spaces in stalking conduct.

At Aurora, we tend to think of access points. In brief, access points refer to the various ways in which people can find out information about us, both on and off line. As we live our lives between online and offline spaces, so it follows that if someone is fixated and obsessed with someone else, they will use a range of ways to impose unwanted contact on them, monitor or surveil them.

With offline, or physical, access points restricted and with our increasing use of social media to keep in contact with those we would often see face to face, we anticipate that there will be an increase in stalker’s use of tech and digital spaces.

Examples of Cyber-stalking

Some examples of how people can use online spaces as part of their conduct includes:

• Sending unwanted messages or emails
• Setting up multiple social media accounts to attempt to contact someone directly and/or contacting those close to them
• Setting up accounts pretending to be the person they are pursuing
• Setting up fake dating profiles to attempt to engage the other person in contact
• Joining similar interest groups online
• Installing spyware on devices to monitor their activity
• Posting private sexual images of the victim online
• Posting private contact information about the victim online, such as their address and phone number (known as doxing)
• Following public facing fitness tracking apps, such as strava or garmin connect
• Hacking into emails/icloud/google account to access information
• Hacking into accounts and changing passwords to restrict or prevent access

How do you capture evidence of cyber-stalking?

Keep a record of what is happening, including copies of all emails and messages, a timeline of the conduct and how it makes you feel. It may work for you to back emails and messages up by using Dropbox or setting up a completely separate, secure email address to forward information on to so that it is safely stored. You can take screenshots and store these too.

If you are concerned that someone has accessed a device, scan through and remove any unrecognised apps. Consider a factory reset of the phone. You may wish to back up personal files and photos to ensure that you will still have access to these, but ensure that anything that is backed up and reinstalled onto the device is subject to an anti-virus scan beforehand.

Further advice on how to do this can be found here.

What is the impact of stalking?

When we look at the impact of stalking in the public media, we have a tendency to focus on the risk of violence to victims. Whilst this is always a concern and something that we will always take seriously, we take equally seriously the risk that the stalking will continue and have a long-term detrimental impact on those it affects.

Persistent stalking, whether on or offline or whether or not there is no fear or threat of violence can lead to victims feeling trapped, isolated and hyper-vigilant. Many of the clients that we work with at Aurora talk about feeling paranoid and as if they are just waiting for the stalker to act again or appear out of nowhere. When someone is feeling this level of psychological torment and feel sure that it will never end, anything can trigger a fear response. There doesn’t need to be a threat or fear of violence for someone to feel utterly terrified. Furthermore, victims of stalking over long periods of time can report feeling numb or bored of what they’re going through, as if they are a burden on their friends and family, whom they talk to about their experiences, and often choose not to report to the police because they feel that they are wasting police time.

If I am being cyber-stalked, what can I do?

Aurora are here to support you if this is something that you are experiencing. Aurora New Dawn is a charity committed to ending violence against women and children, and putting a stop to hidden violence. We provide specialist services to ensure that you do not have to go through stalking alone. Aurora New Dawn is here to help you feel safe again.

To find out more about our services, click here.

How do you increase your safety online?

• Be aware of information available online – complete a search for yourself to see what comes up
• Make a list of all of your accounts and the information that you find about yourself, go through each one and check privacy settings, change your password, or delete the account
• Use a password manager – more information can be found here
• Set up two factor authentication for your accounts
• Set clear boundaries around information you want to share online
• Go through your friends and contacts on social media so that you are confident that you are only sharing information with people that you trust
• Be aware of information that others are sharing about you online (such as posting pictures on facebook and Instagram on public facing profiles that you are then tagged in)
• Install software updates as they become available on your devices
• Spyware can be difficult to detect on devices. Look out for any strange apps, a battery which rapidly deteriorates or be careful for any links that you may have opened in messages
• Install anti-virus, including on mobile devices
• Avoid the use of public WiFi. If you need to use it, consider installing a Virtual Private Network (VPN) – Find out how here.

Where can you get help?

Aurora have a helpline that is open 24/7 for victims of stalking and professionals working with victims of stalking in Hampshire. You can contact us at any time for advice or support on 02394 216 816.

The National Stalking Helpline are available for support and advice on stalking. More information can be found on their website.

The South East Regional Organised Crime Unit have some really useful resources on staying safe online click here for more information.

Useful information

Aurora’s 24/7 helpline 02394 216 816

Paladin – National Stalking Advocacy Service	https://paladinservice.co.uk
Cyber Stalking Helpline	https://www.thecyberhelpline.com/cyberstalking-action-plan
Revenge Porn Helpline	https://revengepornhelpline.org.uk/
Stalking and Harassment Legal Guidance	https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/stalking-and-harassment
National Stalking Helpline	https://www.suzylamplugh.org/refer-someone-to-us
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on how to set up two factor authentication	https://serocu.police.uk/2fa
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on WiFi and VPNs	https://serocu.police.uk/risky-wifi
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – advice on managing passwords	https://serocu.police.uk/passwords
South East Regional Organised Crime Unit – staying safe online	https://serocu.police.uk/individuals

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to know more about our stalking service?

Click here to see our stalking service

Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

When I was a kid one of my favourite things to do was go to Canoe Lake in Southsea; for those of you who haven’t been, it’s epic. It’s not really a lake, nor does it have canoes, it’s more like a huge pond, but we like to talk big in Portsmouth. You can get a pedalo (way too over-priced for the amount of work you have to put in moving the monstrosity round the tiny section of the lake they allow you in), or feed the swans with manky bread, but best of all you can take your bacon and string down there and go crabbing. Obviously part of the crabbing experience is looking into other kids buckets to see how well they are doing and comparing your own catch with theirs.

More than anything, the Canoe Lake experience in the day is bustling, summer and winter alike. There is always something there, always someone doing something. The Lake stands central, its grubby sea water laps at the sides, complete with plastic bags and murky foam at times; then at other times the Lake has a peaceful serenity, with the seaside lights reflecting on the water every night, making it seem magical and calm.

Canoe Lake was my life for so many years… but I remember on one occasion going down there with my bucket and bacon and they’d drained it: no swans, no pedalo, no magic. What was left was rubbish: a rusty pram an equally rusty trolley, discarded buckets and string, slime, mud, dirt – you get the picture.

Why am I telling you about this? Well, because I feel like this is what COVID19 has done to life more generally: drained out the water and the magic and what is laid bare is the reality of the underneath.

For me and my team that reality is something that we always see, the rusty items and the discarded buckets represent the lives of the women we support, and they have to live like this ALL THE TIME. These are the women that society prefers to keep hidden out of sight, and the behaviour of the perpetrators they live with are too often ignored.

The violence against women (VAW) movement is constantly shouting about what lies beneath the water, what society doesn’t want to see; about the way survivors have to wade through the mud just to get their head above water for five minutes, about the perpetrators that bind and submerge them back into the murky depths. Like abused women, we in the VAW movement are often ignored too.

But now, suddenly, everyone seems to be aware of victims and survivors. People are talking about them and asking questions, like ‘What will self-isolation mean for domestic abuse victims’?

This is good, of course it is, but it also makes me want to scream! Victims haven’t just appeared out of nowhere, COVID-19 didn’t just make a tonne of men become abusive and increase the risk to the women they live with. COVID-19 didn’t cause domestic abuse, you can just bloody well see it now!

What COVID-19 does is make people look at the ugly rubbish hidden in the lake, and we can’t look away anymore.

Isolation is a key tactic of abusers, so the self-isolation of their victims with full state approval is a lottery win to them. We know it will increase the risk to victims, we know perpetrators are already using symptoms as an excuse not to be arrested.

The response from my sector has been nothing short of inspiring. The small team of 20 women I work with have galvanised strength and come up with creative ways to respond to the clients they care so much about. My first response to the crisis was to sit down and write a safety plan for survivors stuck in self-isolation with perpetrators. I was really pleased that services round the country emailed us for a copy – it certainly isn’t perfect, but it was a start. I had to do something practical, and I think once you’ve been a crisis worker you always revert to type!

But the stark reality is that for those of us working in the sector, right now it feels like we are having to watch our clients through a window. We can’t get to them as easily as we usually can and if we do there are now only two choices: leave or stay. We will find resources and be creative and reach out in the way the VAW movement always does: with tenacity, ingenuity and on a shoe string.

The government made all the staff working in the Domestic Abuse sector key workers. Well, of course they did. They don’t want to have to keep looking at the rubbish in the lake without sending in the troops to deal with it.

But I wonder, what happens after this pandemic is done and the epidemic we deal with every day continues?

As key workers, can we expect respect as well as resources for our ongoing battle fighting male violence against women? Can I expect my teams to be valued and for ringfenced funding that puts an end to year on year grants and insecure job status for them? Will the government prioritise money for frontline services first, without us having to jump through hoops to get just a fraction of the central pot?

Will society finally understand and accept that the lake needs to be cleared daily? And not just (the metaphorical) Canoe Lake, but all the other dark, unseen corners in every street, town, village, and city across the UK?

Or will the lake just be refilled when the pandemic is over, so everyone can go back to pretending none of these problems exist? I guess that’s going to be up to all of us to decide.

Shonagh Dillon

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

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Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

Want to know more about us?

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Aurora New Dawn is pleased to announce the following job vacancy:

Female ^* Community IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor)

Hours of work

Full-time:	37 Hours per week
Salary	£25,250 (with 1% annual increment)
Duration:	Contract until June 2021. Continuation subject to funding.
Location:	West Sussex, working across working across Worthing & Adur.

*PLEASE NOTE: This post is restricted to female applicants in accordance with Schedule 9 (part 1) of the Equality Act 2010

The Female Community IDVA Role

Aurora New Dawn is a registered charity providing support and advocacy to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking.

We are excited to be working in partnership with West Sussex County Council and Safelives to deliver CONNECT: a new and holistic service, created with survivors of domestic abuse and offering a co-ordinated, whole-family response.

We are looking for a skilled, dedicated and passionate individual to take on the role of Community IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) within the Connect team, working specifically with victims of domestic abuse who are at medium risk of harm.

The successful candidate will:

• Provide a high-quality frontline service to victims of domestic abuse, working specifically with those clients assessed at medium risk of harm

• Facilitate a 4 week holistic assessment allowing time to gradually build a relationship with each client, incorporating risk and safety, strengths and needs.

• Provide advocacy, practical and emotional support.
• Support clients to identify and build on their strengths, assets and resources, both internal and external, with the aim of increasing resilience.

• Support the facilitation of group programmes and activities including drop-ins at other services to support service users in the community.

All roles within the Connect team will work in accordance with the 7 key principles underpinning the Connect Model:

• Flexibility, consistency and reliability

• Accessibility

• Strengths-based

• Client involvement

• Gender-responsive

• Working together

• Trauma-informed

How to apply for the job:

For further details on this vacancy, please see the combined job description/person specification.

Applications should be in the form of a letter, sent by email to recruitment@aurorand.org.uk, detailing why you think you are suitable for the post. Please put ‘Community IDVA Application’ in the subject line and return your completed diversity monitoring form with your letter.

You are advised to read the job description and person specification carefully as the decision to shortlist you for interview will be based on the information you provide in your letter.

The deadline for all applications is 5pm Monday 17th August 2020.

Interviews –

• Week commencing 24th August 2020 (subject to change)
• Interviews will be conducted via ZOOM

To save on administration costs we are not able to contact you if your application is unsuccessful, but I would like to take the opportunity to thank you for your interest in our work.

Important documents:

To download a copy of the Community IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) job description, click here.

To download a copy of the Community IDVA (Independent Domestic Violence Advisor) person specification, click here.

To download a copy of the Aurora New Dawn Diversity Questionnaire, click here.