As domestic abuse response workers, we sometimes meet survivors following them reporting abuse to the police’Often this can be their first time disclosing digital abuse. The first response survivors receive from workers like you, workers like us, is significant. It can shape their experience of feeling safe, believed and supported. 

Ensure the following:

• Environment – calm, safe and private. 

Provide a private, calm and safe space for survivors to disclose, ensuring their safety first. Check the environment – make sure the space is safe from the possibility of eavesdropping, and away from anyone who may be listening or might impact on the disclosure being made. Some cases of stalking have involved listening devices and if the victim is disclosing in the house to police, the perpetrator could find out via a device/camera/Ring doorbell. This could lead them to subject the victim to more abuse, and/or to remove / tamper with devices whic a court case may depend on. Avoid overwhelming with complex questions. The first disclosure is an opportunity to build trust and rebuild a sense of control for survivors. 

• Validate and Empower

Acknowledge their courage and validate – digital abuse can leave people feeling vulnerable, and exposed. Our role is to listen, not instruct – avoid saying things such as “you should”, “you need to do”. Reassure survivors that they are in control. Avoid minimising digital abuse – it is real, purposeful and intentional. 

• Safety Plan

Construct a safety plan around the survivor experience. Avoid technical fixes – changing passwords, deleting content may alert abusers and put the survivor at further risk. Explore the risks. Have they been threatened with image distribution? Is their location monitored? Is their device monitored? Were they asked to download any apps?

• Provide safe signposting for ongoing support 

National Domestic Abuse Helpline – 0808 2000 247

Refuge Tech Abuse Support – Online and digital abuse – Women’s Aid

If at immediate risk, call 999 – press 55 if you cannot speak 

Refer to local IDVA service – with consent

• Close with reassurance 

Re-iterate that they are believed, reassure that ongoing support is available and that they are not alone. “You’ve done the right thing by reaching out. You are not alone and we’ll work through this safely together”.

• Self-care

Hearing first disclosures in relation to digital abuse can be heavy. Debrief with colleagues and engage with clinical supervision to ensure your own wellbeing. 

Each first disclosure is a turning point. Your calm, empowering response can help rebuild trust and safety in real world and digital spaces.

#16days #NoExcuse and #ACTtoEndViolence

This year, the theme for the 16 Days of Activism to end Gender-Based Violence is ‘UNiTE to End Digital Violence against All Women and Girls’. The 16 days runs from the International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women on the 25th November, to Human Rights Day on the 10th December. 

Throughout the 16 Days, we’re sharing information and insights around our work and digital violence. Today. We’re sharing a case study from our work. 

AA and the AP were together for nearly two years. The relationship was controlling from the outset, and AA noticed some concerning behaviours. The domestic abuse was prevalent, and AA broke up with the AP when the AP physically assaulted her. 

A short time after the relationship ended, AA began to realise that the AP just couldn’t let this go and he started to display controlling abusive behaviour through alternative means, and this was online.

Over the following weeks AA’s social media accounts were accessed and the AP went on to send AA messages of a violent and concerning nature and call her relentlessly, often daily. AA stated that the messages would sometimes be delivered within less than a minute from each other. 

AA reported it to the police, and the police took the AP’s phone for investigation purposes. The AP was arrested and subsequently bailed, with conditions in place for the AP not to contact AA directly or indirectly and not to go into the area where AA lived. So far, since the imposition of the bail conditions, unfortunately there have been reported breaches. 

A recent example of a breach that really concerned AA was that she went on to her TikTok account, and it appeared that the AP’s nephew had liked her video, unliked it and had been on her profile. However, this was an account he would never have known about as he didn’t follow AA or know it existed, as any accounts AA had on social media were blocked. 

AA took screenshots and screen recorded her concerns. She recognised that the AP’s nephew is young, and this made her think that he would not have searched and found her account off her own back alone. It unsettled AA, and she now questions everything she does. 

Whatever conditions are imposed, this doesn’t necessarily take away the fear, and there are always ways that an AP can digitally be abusive and stalk a victim.

If you are being subjected to digital abuse, help is available.

The Cyber Helpline is a free, confidential helpline for anyone who has been a victim of cybercrime. They help individuals contain, recover, and learn from cyber attacks by linking them with cyber security experts who provide relevant advice and guidance. Their chatbot and team of volunteer cyber security experts will talk in a language that you understand and are able to advise you in all cyber security scenarios.

The Revenge Porn Helpline provides information and help one on getting online images removed.

If you are in the Thames Valley, or are in or have a link to the Armed Forces we can help. 

Thames Valley

• stalking.thamesvalley@aurorand.org.uk
•  02392 479254 open Monday-Friday 9am-5pm.

Armed Forces Helpline: 

• Helpline & WhatsApp: +44 (0)333 0912 527
• Helpline hours (GMT): 0900-1500 Monday to Friday
• WhatsApp chat (GMT): Tuesday 0900-1500 / Wednesday & Thursday 1700-2000 / Sunday 1000-1400

Elsewhere in the UK, you can contact the National Stalking Helpline and the Revenge Porn Helpline

#16days #NoExcuse and #ACTtoEndViolence

Between September 2024 and September 2025, we supported survivors in 364 stalking cases.

268 of these (74%) included stalking with a cyber element.

Stalking is a crime.

Are you worried you may be experiencing stalking?

Find out about our support here.

#16Days #NoExcuse

Today, November 26th, is Economic Abuse Day.

As technology continues to evolve, so too do the methods perpetrators use to exploit and control their victims. One of the most powerful forms of manipulation is economic abuse, where an abuser exerts control by restricting or exploiting a victim’s financial resources. This form of abuse can trap victims in dangerous relationships, leaving them without assets, financial independence, or a safe place to go.

Examples of economic abuse include:

• Taking out credit cards or loans in the victim’s name without consent.
• Accessing and monitoring bank accounts, scrutinising every transaction.
• Signing the victim up for charities or services using their bank details.
• Using the victim’s money to fund the perpetrator’s purchases.
• Refusing to contribute to joint financial responsibilities, such as a mortgage, and preventing the sale of shared property.

Economic abuse can have long-lasting consequences, often persisting for years – even decades – after a survivor has left the abusive environment. In many cases, perpetrators continue to financially abuse their victims despite having no direct contact. This ongoing control can severely impact a survivor’s future, as debts accrued in their name can prevent them from accessing credit, securing loans, or obtaining a mortgage. 

According to BBC (2024), many survivors had signed joint mortgages with their abusers prior to the onset of the abuse, once the perpetrator left the property, their name often remained on the mortgage, this situation means survivors require the perpetrator’s consent to sell the property, also highlighting that perpetrators frequently refuse to contribute to the mortgage, leaving survivors to carry the financial burden alone—often in silence. (‘My abuser used our joint mortgage against me’ – BBC News)

A study conducted by Surviving Economic Abuse and Ipsos UK in November 2024 revealed the widespread impact of economic abuse on women across the UK. The findings showed that 2.4 million women experienced economically restrictive behaviours from their perpetrators.

 Furthermore, 940,000 women reported remaining in abusive relationships as a direct result of economic abuse, highlighting how financial control can trap victims and limit their ability to leave. In total, 4.1 million women disclosed experiencing economic abuse between 2023 and 2024. (Almost one million UK women who experienced economic abuse said the abuse prevented them from leaving an abusive partner | Ipsos)

Home Office Minister Jess Phillips has said,‘’Tackling economic abuse – a true hidden crime – will be integral to achieving our ambition of halving violence against women and girls in a decade.’’ We look forward to more progress in this area.

#16days #NoExcuse and #ACTtoEndViolence.

For National Stalking Awareness Week 2024, the National Stalking Consortium theme, led by our partners at The Suzy Lamplugh Trust is, “Join Forces Against Stalking”.

Effective multi-agency working is crucial for ensuring victims of stalking are supported from their point of disclosure right through until a conviction and beyond. This year, we are calling for agencies across the police, CPS and healthcare to join forces, and work together to effectively support victims of stalking. We will be showcasing examples of best practice and highlighting the important role multi-agency working has played for the victims we support.

Stalking behaviours and referral to Aurora:

Jessie* was referred to our Thames Valley stalking service by Victims First following a report to the police that her ex-partner had been spying on her through cameras she had set up for her pet, the stalker had been constantly contacting her.

Jessie was in a relationship with the stalker for over five years. The relationship became abusive when their first child was born. The stalker would tell Jessie that if she ever left him, he would destroy her and take away the children. Jessie had been subjected to multiple sexual assaults by the stalker and six accounts of rape, she ended the relationship and moved into her mother’s home with her children. Arrangements were made for child contact through a third party, although the stalker did not attempt to see the children for a few months.

There were occasions in which Jessie had been having private conversations with her mother and her new partner would receive messages alluding to what had been said. The stalker also stole a key for Jessie’s mother’s house and let himself in.

Support provided:

We have been working with Jessie on her safety planning and encouraged her to invest in the Hollie Guard app, a personal alarm, and a video doorbell.

Multi Agency Working:

We referred Jessie to our partners at the Faisal Luke Pro Bono Project, a group of expert lawyers who gave her advice around a Child Arrangement Order and child contact. Unfortunately, Jessie was told by one police officer that the case was ‘low priority’ so we raised this with the force lead in Thames Valley police and the officer was spoken to. This message left Jessie feeling really low and undervalued and we continue to work with her around feeling confident to continue to report to the police.

Jessie has struggled with her mental health and had attempted to overdose before accessing our service. She has been working with mental health professionals and continues to engage in the services and options offered by them. We have remained in contact with her health team to ensure we are working together to provide the best support for Jessie.

Due to some early errors, the case was not referred to the CPS within the statutory time limit by the police, and because the rape charges were separated from the stalking, the charges under stalking were not initially considered under a s.4a, which constitutes the most serious offences in the legislation.

This caused Jessie a great deal of stress and she has been diagnosed with further health issues by her GP, brought on by the stress of the case. We advocated with the police to charge under a s.4a and the police eventually took a statement from Jessie.

Victim Voice and next steps:

Jessie doesn’t have much faith in the case going through the criminal justice system, but she has come this far and needs to prove to the stalker that he does not control her anymore and that she is strong. She is still navigating child contact and Jessie says this has been uncomfortable but manageable, and we routinely update her safety plan with her to make sure she and the children are safe.

We now have to wait for a review of the statement to see if the case can be submitted for the S.4a. Jessie still finds it difficult to leave the house on her own and said she is often concerned the stalker is setting up cameras or listening devices when she is not at the house.

Our next steps are to continue liaising with the police to keep Jessie updated. Jessie understandably still struggles with her mental health, and we continue to link in with those services and assess other options available for her.

Jessie told us she would not have been able to get through all of this without our support and always feels more positive after speaking to us. She also explained that she feels she can open up to us and that she is being understood, and not just listened to.

“You are one of the only services I am being supported by that empowers me to make my own choices and supports me through them.”

*not her real name

#JoinForcesAgainstStalking

If you are being subjected to stalking and you live in Thames Valley, call us on 02392 479254.

You can also contact the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0330.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816

For National Stalking Awareness Week 2024, the National Stalking Consortium theme, led by our partners at The Suzy Lamplugh Trust is, “Join Forces Against Stalking”.

Effective multi-agency working is crucial for ensuring victims of stalking are supported from their point of disclosure right through until a conviction and beyond. This year, we are calling for agencies across the police, CPS and healthcare to join forces, and work together to effectively support victims of stalking. We will be showcasing examples of best practice and highlighting the important role multi-agency working has played for the victims we support.

Stalking behaviours and referral to Aurora – Armed Forces case:

Izzy* is serving in the British Army. She was referred to us via her staff sergeant and unit welfare officer. Izzy told us she had met the stalker through friends at a party and he was added to a WhatsApp group to arrange a camping trip. From there he used Izzy’s number to message her personally.

The messages started to get personal, and Izzy made it clear that she was not interested in a relationship. From there the messages came through on all the client’s social media pages and became very sexually explicit. This was particularly distressing as when Izzy had joined the Army, she had shut down many of her social media accounts, however the messages continued, and she was left feeling like he could circumnavigate any of her security restrictions, so she reported the stalking to her unit.

Support provided:

Throughout the case we consistently reviewed all of Izzy’s online and offline safety. There were multiple access points the stalker used, including that the stalker had found out the street where her mum and sister lived, and he told her he had been outside watching for Izzy. Due to this Izzy had not been returning home to seek support from her family.

Multi Agency Working:

Izzy was put in touch with the MET Police. An officer took several statements from Izzy and downloaded the evidence from her phone to a USB. A harassment order was issued, and the stalker contacted Izzy immediately after receiving the order and told her:

“They’ll have to jail me or kill me before I’ll stop”.

We encouraged Izzy to take this to the police and they said he would be arrested, but he wasn’t, and he continued to stalk her. Izzy was told later that the stalker had convinced the police that they had been in a relationship, and this was their rationale for taking no further action. It was deemed to be ‘a bad break-up’.

Over this time, Izzy changed her surname and blocked all contact and media accounts. The stalker would create more accounts and find ways to message her. The messages ranged from declarations of love to threats to kill her, kidnap her, and sexually assault her.

The stalker described in messages that he had raped his partner and beat her whilst imagining the client. The messages came through at approx. 100 a day and Izzy did not read them; they were left in a message request folder. The videos the stalker sent included naked images, and they were very threatening.

Izzy was really reluctant to report to the police, but she recognised it was now affecting her work and emotional state and she needed support. We supported Izzy to understand our capacity to advocate on her behalf and once she was ready, we called 101 and reported to Hampshire police. They deemed client high risk and said they would attend immediately. A short time later Hampshire Constabulary told us that they had passed the case to Sussex as it was under their jurisdiction.

Initially, Sussex said Izzy was not high risk and there was no way to tell when a police officer would come out, so we attended a meeting with them, and they informed us this was a simple harassment case and they would only need to look at the last 6 months of evidence. At the meeting, the police officer told us it would have been easier if the client had been in a relationship with the stalker.

Our Armed Forces advocate sought guidance from senior management at Aurora who immediately linked in with colleagues at different police depts for assistance. West Sussex police got back in touch and asked the client to send them screen shots of all the messages received.

There were so many messages and Izzy was incredibly distressed at sending them, so we intervened and advocated for the police to organise a face-to-face meeting at a police station so they could take the evidence directly from the phone. It took 2 days to download one weeks’ worth of messages. The Met police intervened at this stage, and after communicating with senior management at Aurora they sent specialist officers to collect the data without Izzy being present. They discovered many hidden messages that Izzy hadn’t seen and stated the content was so disturbing they would not be disclosing it to the client. The Met police took over the investigation and immediately put markers on the homes of the client’s family. The stalker had sent pictures from outside the client’s father’s house and made threats of harm.

The Met police spoke to Izzy’s family to ensure there was safeguarding for everyone connected to her. Whilst all this was going on Izzy was due to deploy oversees and she was encouraged to go, once she was safely out of the country the Met police took a team to arrest the stalker and seize all equipment in his home.

The level of knowledge he had about Izzy was extreme and they were also able to establish who his new partner was to offer her support and assistance.

Victim Voice and next steps:

The stalker was charged and convicted of a stalking 4a offence. He was given a suspended sentence which he immediately breached.

Contact with the police was limited as they preferred going directly to Izzy’s chain of command in the Army, this was frustrating for a young soldier as she did not want her work to know every detail in the case. They assumed she could not complete her duties but it also added a delay in the support we could provide.

We supported Izzy throughout the criminal justice process and the stalker was sent to prison in violation of his suspended sentence.

On case closure, the client was linked in with mental health services in the army and she remained determined to continue in her travels to progress in her career. After the stalker was jailed, Izzy described the silence as being as frightening as the stalking, because the fear had been a huge part of her everyday life, and she struggled to cope when it stopped. She said it was such a strange feeling that others couldn’t understand, and it made things harder for a while as she came to trust that it was finally over.

We met Izzy a year after the case was and she said:

“I finally sleep well at night because since the stalker was released from jail he has been forced to work with mental health teams and, thankfully all the behaviour’s towards her have stopped.”

*not her real name

#JoinForcesAgainstStalking

If you are being subjected to stalking and you live in Thames Valley, call us on 02392 479254.

You can also contact the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0330.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816

For National Stalking Awareness Week 2024, the National Stalking Consortium theme, led by our partners at The Suzy Lamplugh Trust is, “Join Forces Against Stalking”.

Effective multi-agency working is crucial for ensuring victims of stalking are supported from their point of disclosure right through until a conviction and beyond. This year, we are calling for agencies across the police, CPS and healthcare to join forces, and work together to effectively support victims of stalking. We will be showcasing examples of best practice and highlighting the important role multi-agency working has played for the victims we support.

We will share a series of blogs to evidence the importance of effective partnership working for victims of Stalking:

Stalking behaviours and referral to Aurora:

Danna* had been experiencing unwanted behaviour from a friend, he has been running to and from his car to her house and ringing her doorbell. He was loitering outside her house and looking through windows. Danna told us that she had been on a handful of dates with the suspect, and he had become infatuated with her. He was continually stalking her via social media and the stalker would regularly purchase coffee and have it delivered to Danna’s place of work.

Support provided:

We worked with Danna to construct a safety plan, including looking at online and offline access points for the stalker. We discussed all the security measures she could put in and around her house, and recommended the Hollie Guard app, and ID identifying sprays to use whilst she was out shopping. We checked her passwords online with her and security settings on all online platforms.

Multi Agency Working:

We liaised with the police to ensure a marker was placed on her home, her Mum’s home, and her workplace. We also advised the importance of keeping a timeline of incidents as evidence and assured her we would attend the police station with her to offer support when she gave evidence. Danna’s mental health was severely impacted from the stalker’s behaviour, so we linked her in with her GP. In addition, Danna was suffering from acute anxiety and fearful of what the stalker was capable of, so we made sure to give her regular emotional support calls, and continued to ensure she knew of her options on mental health support services.

We experienced some inconsistent communication from the initial police officer in charge of the case, so we raised our concerns to the Police Stalking Lead in Thames Valley, who placed a new officer on the case, instantly the new officer was open to suggestions and kept us and the victim up to date with the progress of the case, this relationship ensured an effective multi agency practice.

The stalker continued to target Danna, both online and offline, every day Danna was having to open her social media accounts and the stalker had posted stuff online, he was also running past her house all the time, it was an incredibly traumatising time for her.

Victim Voice and next steps:

Due to the fact that Danna had kept a log of all incidents and bravely engaged with the police, with us, and with the Crown Prosecution service, she was able to secure a conviction of stalking under s.4a. We further worked with Danna and the police officer to ensure she felt safe and supported in giving her victim personal statement, we also advocated for her with the police on obtaining a stalking protection order, which she secured successfully.

Just because the criminal justice side of things is over it doesn’t mean the need for support is concluded, we make sure that victims leave our service once they are aware of the other support they can access, particularly in relation to the trauma they will be feeling. Danna told us:

I’m just mind blown with everything, I am feeling more positive and I just wanted to thank you for continuous support. It’s certainly been challenging…

*not her real name

#JoinForcesAgainstStalking

If you are being subjected to stalking and you live in Thames Valley, call us on 02392 479254.

You can also contact the National Stalking Helpline on 0808 802 0330.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816

Aurora New Dawn has launched a new support service providing help and advice for people experiencing domestic abuse, sexual violence or stalking in the Royal Navy, which can be used by Royal Navy personnel or their families and is available wherever in the world the person may be posted.

Dr Shonagh Dillon, CEO at Aurora New Dawn, said: “We are very pleased to be working in partnership with the Royal Navy to launch this service specifically for Navy personnel. We recognise that people in the forces community are often worried about the consequences of speaking out about these issues. Service life is different, and for those in the forces community experiencing domestic abuse, sexual violence or stalking, the risks, barriers, and the support options can also look and feel different as a result. That is why our bespoke service is so important to victims within forces communities.”

“Our Navy advocate is part of the forces community themselves, so they have the specialist knowledge and experience needed to help someone understand their options and make the right decision for them.”

Rear Admiral Jude Terry, the Royal Navy’s Domestic Abuse Awareness Champion said “I’m pleased to be able to resume the partnership with Aurora New Dawn for the reinvigorated Independent Domestic Abuse and Sexual Violence (DASV) support service for our personnel and their families. This partnership is part of a range of support mechanisms being implemented to ensure that, with the Armed Forces Advocate, we provide support and advice to our people experiencing these complex and difficult issues”.

As part of the partnership, Aurora New Dawn will be providing ongoing training and education to key contacts working within the Royal Navy, such as welfare staff and those in leadership roles.

Shonagh continued: “The training we provide is an important part of the service. We focus on improving the knowledge and awareness of key staff groups so they can be more confident in responding to disclosures of violence and abuse in the right way.”

The service is confidential and is available to any serving member or partner of Royal Navy personnel who is experiencing domestic abuse, sexual violence or stalking.

To access the service, people should contact Aurora New Dawn on 02392 479254.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816

Aurora New Dawn Needs Your Support in the Discount Promo Codes Charity Poll this December (2023).

In the run up to Christmas we are keen to be able to support the women in our female only groups with some Christmas presents if that is possible, and we need your help to win a donation of 20% of the Discount promo codes profits!

Who Are Discount Promo Codes?

Discount Promo Codes hosts a charity poll every month, within which 3 charities compete to win a donation. So far, they have donated over £62,000 to charity, and the winning donation is 20% of their profits for the month. They nominate different charities to take part every month, and this month Aurora New Dawn is one of their nominated charities!

What Is the Discount Promo Codes Poll?

The poll is decided by the public, so the charity with the most public votes at the end of the month wins the donation.

How Do I Vote in the Poll?

Key information:

Voting is 100% free, easy and just takes two clicks. In order to cast your vote you need to:

1. Head over to the https://www.discountpromocodes.co.uk/
2. On the right-hand side (or bottom of the page on mobile) you will see the charity poll
3. Click the small circle next to Aurora New Dawn to vote!

It takes just seconds, but it will mean a lot to Aurora and can have a huge impact on wellbeing and mental health. Everyone gets one vote, you don’t need to use any vouchers in order to vote and the poll will run from 9am December 1st 2023 until midnight December 31st 2023.

Thank you so much for your kind support in voting for us.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816

The impact of the cost-of-living crisis spreads far and wide; we recently shared a blog about the ripple effects on the charity sector, with enormous changes felt across the industry. But that’s only part of the problem and we must also talk about the significant impact that the cost-of-living is having on victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

Research from Women’s Aid found that:

• Almost all survivors (96%) responding had seen a negative impact on the amount of money available to them as a result of cost-of-living increases.
• Two thirds (66%) of survivors said that abusers were using the cost-of-living increase and concerns about financial hardship as a tool for coercive control, including to justify further restricting their access to money.
• Almost three quarters (73%) of women living with and having financial links with the abuser said that the cost-of-living crisis had either prevented them from leaving or made it harder for them to leave.

These figures are a frightening reflection of the reality so many victims are facing: stay in a dangerous situation or face potential poverty.

In this blog we explore just some of the factors impacting women and girls experiencing domestic abuse amidst the cost-of-living crisis.

Women are feeling trapped within their abusive relationship

Women living in an abusive household are disproportionately affected by the cost-of-living crisis. Many cannot afford to leave and live alone, and this leads to them having to stay in an unsafe home because they feel that, financially, there is no other option.

“A huge issue is that abusers are very aware of this. We see many perpetrators cutting off victims from any financial resources so that they have to rely on them entirely. They want their victim to feel as if they cannot live without them – it’s their way of exerting more and more control, leaving the woman feeling completely trapped,” said Dr Shonagh Dillon, Aurora’s CEO.

This sense of helplessness is compounded for women who have children because of the implications of affording even the most basic of things for their dependents. Research from Refuge found that 58% of frontline workers said that survivors could not afford enough food for themselves and their children, almost half (49%) said survivors couldn’t afford school uniforms and other basics for their children. If a mother in an abusive relationship knows she would be unable to feed her child if she were to leave, she will find herself facing an impossible decision.

Lynne Thompson, Aurora New Dawn Army Advocate, notes: “I have a lot of victims/survivors trapped in military homes because they can’t access local authority housing and cannot afford the private rents – in essence, these women are being pushed to quit their jobs and take benefits. Even then benefits don’t cover rent and leave them in really poor places financially.”

Abusers are using the cost-of-living as a weapon to exert further control

Nearly two out of five UK adults have experienced economically abusive behaviour in a current or former relationship. The cost-of-living crisis is only exacerbating this issue.

“Abusers are using the cost-of-living crisis as a means of justifying their controlling behaviours. They limit victims’ access to money under the guise of concerns about familial financial hardship. In reality, it’s just another way to create a feeling of fear and helplessness in their victim and as a tool for coercive control,” said Shonagh.

For those who have left their abusive relationship, ex-partners are also using the crisis as a reason not to pay (or to reduce) their child maintenance support. This pushes the survivor into their own financial difficulties, with mounting stress and anxiety around how to make ends meet.

Women who are able to escape the abusive relationship are leaving with no money for essentials

Life does not suddenly become easy for victims once they have escaped their abuser, just because victims leave doesn’t mean the abuse ends. Alongside the need to still manage the risk posed to them from their abusive ex-partners they also have to deal with mounting food, energy and rent costs, and they often find themselves in unattainable economic situations.

“We see victims having to return to live with their abusers because they cannot survive and support their family financially. It’s heartbreaking to see, sending them straight back into the same relentless cycle of living with a violent and abusive man,” added Shonagh.

Here at Aurora, we have noticed a huge increase in victims/survivors needing housing advice – they are not able to afford private rent but there is a limit on the number of houses available in social housing. There are more women staying in violent relationships because of this, as well as others who are now sofa surfing with their kids just to stay safe.

Brianne Atkins, Aurora’s stalking advocate, said: “Many of the clients I support are living in council or housing association homes and want to move away from a stalker or away from where the trauma occurred. However, it takes a super long time to get them moved. When I’ve raised renting it is almost always not an option financially so they’re stuck because they can’t afford private rentals and the system isn’t supporting them.”

The cost-of-living is making victims feel even more isolated

With less disposable income there are less opportunities to leave the house and be around other people. This deepens the sense of isolation that many victims will already be feeling.

Speaking of her experience supporting members of the forces, Lynne Thompson – Aurora New Dawn’s Army Advocate – said: “We are having to be a lot more creative about ensuring women who want to access our group work are able to do so with the increasing costs of sending their children to a childminder. We’ve noticed that we were only really seeing women with school aged children and over on our most recent group, which, in turn, makes those clients with younger children experiencing domestic abuse more isolated, at an already isolating time.”

Our work with women caught up in the criminal justice system means we are able to run groups for women in prison. A lot of the women have told us that they are having reduced visits due to family and friends as they are unable to afford the cost of travel. This has a significant impact on victims’ mental health and their feelings of seclusion, especially when they cannot see their children. We have adapted our sessions to offer emotional support to women affected by this.

Support services for victims are under strain

Across the board, support services are under major strain. We have noticed that victims trying to access civil legal advice are severely impacted by the cost-of-living crisis.

“We have run a free pro bono legal advice clinic for women we support since February 2023. One of the women, Jenny*, doesn’t qualify for legal aid but doesn’t have extra money for legal fees. Jenny accessed our pro bono clinic for advice and support and like many of our clients she is now having to navigate the civil justice system without any financial support from the state and no savings to pay for a legal representative. Our pro bono clinic is full every session – showing the desperate need for it – and we continue to benefit from this as a free resource from The Faisal Luke Pro Bono Clinic, for victims and survivors.” said Shonagh.

Adding to this, Zoe Jackson – Operations Manager at Aurora – said: “In the forces service, we are seeing people fleeing with no money to buy anything for their new properties. We’re working with other charities to try and negotiate some support. Up until July, we were able to dip into the Safelives Circle fund but that has now closed. The Women’s Aid hardship fund closed within a matter of days due to being so oversubscribed. It’s an awful case of these incredible services being underfunded and oversubscribed.”

At the start of this year, it was found that 97% of charities and social enterprises had been directly affected by the cost-of-living crisis. The third sector has felt the hit considerably, and – consequently – service users feel the aftermath too.

What does Aurora recommend?

There are many ways you can get help if you are in a difficult situation.

• If you are experiencing domestic abuse call 0808 2000 247 or our helpline in Hampshire 02394 216 816.
• If you want support for financial abuse, please contact Surviving Economic Abuse I need help – Surviving Economic Abuse.
• For general advice on the cost-of-living crisis please reach out to your local Citizens Advice Bureau Get help with the cost of living – Citizens Advice.

We believe there is also more that can be done to support victims and survivors because the need far outweighs what is available. We fully support the call from Women’s Aid made in its report on the impact of the cost of living impact on survivors of domestic abuse, including: an Emergency Domestic Abuse Fund, reducing energy costs for refuges during the crisis and making better provision of legal services for survivors.

If you would like to support the Aurora New Dawn charity and you are able to donate you can do so here:

If you would like to support our female only group work and you are able to donate you can do so here:

Aurora’s helpline – 6pm to 9am Monday to Friday and 24hrs over the weekend 02394 216 816