When I was a kid one of my favourite things to do was go to Canoe Lake in Southsea; for those of you who haven’t been, it’s epic. It’s not really a lake, nor does it have canoes, it’s more like a huge pond, but we like to talk big in Portsmouth. You can get a pedalo (way too over-priced for the amount of work you have to put in moving the monstrosity round the tiny section of the lake they allow you in), or feed the swans with manky bread, but best of all you can take your bacon and string down there and go crabbing. Obviously part of the crabbing experience is looking into other kids buckets to see how well they are doing and comparing your own catch with theirs.

More than anything, the Canoe Lake experience in the day is bustling, summer and winter alike. There is always something there, always someone doing something. The Lake stands central, its grubby sea water laps at the sides, complete with plastic bags and murky foam at times; then at other times the Lake has a peaceful serenity, with the seaside lights reflecting on the water every night, making it seem magical and calm.

Canoe Lake was my life for so many years… but I remember on one occasion going down there with my bucket and bacon and they’d drained it: no swans, no pedalo, no magic. What was left was rubbish: a rusty pram an equally rusty trolley, discarded buckets and string, slime, mud, dirt – you get the picture.

Why am I telling you about this? Well, because I feel like this is what COVID19 has done to life more generally: drained out the water and the magic and what is laid bare is the reality of the underneath.

For me and my team that reality is something that we always see, the rusty items and the discarded buckets represent the lives of the women we support, and they have to live like this ALL THE TIME. These are the women that society prefers to keep hidden out of sight, and the behaviour of the perpetrators they live with are too often ignored.

The violence against women (VAW) movement is constantly shouting about what lies beneath the water, what society doesn’t want to see; about the way survivors have to wade through the mud just to get their head above water for five minutes, about the perpetrators that bind and submerge them back into the murky depths. Like abused women, we in the VAW movement are often ignored too.

But now, suddenly, everyone seems to be aware of victims and survivors. People are talking about them and asking questions, like ‘What will self-isolation mean for domestic abuse victims’?

This is good, of course it is, but it also makes me want to scream! Victims haven’t just appeared out of nowhere, COVID-19 didn’t just make a tonne of men become abusive and increase the risk to the women they live with. COVID-19 didn’t cause domestic abuse, you can just bloody well see it now!

What COVID-19 does is make people look at the ugly rubbish hidden in the lake, and we can’t look away anymore.

Isolation is a key tactic of abusers, so the self-isolation of their victims with full state approval is a lottery win to them. We know it will increase the risk to victims, we know perpetrators are already using symptoms as an excuse not to be arrested.

The response from my sector has been nothing short of inspiring. The small team of 20 women I work with have galvanised strength and come up with creative ways to respond to the clients they care so much about. My first response to the crisis was to sit down and write a safety plan for survivors stuck in self-isolation with perpetrators. I was really pleased that services round the country emailed us for a copy – it certainly isn’t perfect, but it was a start. I had to do something practical, and I think once you’ve been a crisis worker you always revert to type!

But the stark reality is that for those of us working in the sector, right now it feels like we are having to watch our clients through a window. We can’t get to them as easily as we usually can and if we do there are now only two choices: leave or stay. We will find resources and be creative and reach out in the way the VAW movement always does: with tenacity, ingenuity and on a shoe string.

The government made all the staff working in the Domestic Abuse sector key workers. Well, of course they did. They don’t want to have to keep looking at the rubbish in the lake without sending in the troops to deal with it.

But I wonder, what happens after this pandemic is done and the epidemic we deal with every day continues?

As key workers, can we expect respect as well as resources for our ongoing battle fighting male violence against women? Can I expect my teams to be valued and for ringfenced funding that puts an end to year on year grants and insecure job status for them? Will the government prioritise money for frontline services first, without us having to jump through hoops to get just a fraction of the central pot?

Will society finally understand and accept that the lake needs to be cleared daily? And not just (the metaphorical) Canoe Lake, but all the other dark, unseen corners in every street, town, village, and city across the UK?

Or will the lake just be refilled when the pandemic is over, so everyone can go back to pretending none of these problems exist? I guess that’s going to be up to all of us to decide.

Shonagh Dillon

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

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Zoe representing Aurora New Dawn

Below you can find the 3 part interview with Zoe on Express FM. Zoe discuss such issues as stalking, the differences between domestic abuse and domestic violence, coercive control, and sexual violence.

Aurora New Dawn is a non-judgmental charity organisation which offers victim and survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking support, all designed by women. At #TeamAurora, we believe you.

Listen to the Express FM Interview:

Want to see the transcripts? Click below:

• Interview – Part 1 – Transcript
• Interview – Part 2 – Transcript
• Interview – Part 3 – Transcript

Transcript 1: Express FM Interview with Aurora Part 1

Host: A subject which we’ve covered on this show many a time over the years is an organisation called Aurora New Dawn. Zoe joins us as our profile guest tonight. Zoe, good evening to you.

Zoe: Hello.

Host: Alright?

Zoe: I’m good thank you.

Host: We must give a mention to Lyn, Lyn is with us tonight.

Zoe: She is.

Host: Watching.

Zoe: Sat on the sofa.

Host: Watching and waving. She’s too scared to come on the air.

Zoe: She is.

Host: But… she’s just put her feet up on the soda.

Zoe: She’s fine, she’s comfortable.

Host: Yeah, yeah, yeah, she’s well-trained is she?

Zoe: I’ve got her well-trained, absolutely, don’t you worry.

Host: Great, thanks for coming in, it’s good to see you both.

Zoe: Thanks for having me.

Host: Thanks for coming in and talking to us. Tell us a little more about the organisation first of all, ‘cos there’s bound to be people out there who are not too sure what you do.

Zoe: Yeah, absolutely, so we are ‘Aurora New Dawn’ or ‘Aurora’ for short, it’s probably the easiest way to say it, and we are a charity based in Portsmouth but we work across Hampshire and deliver a number of different services, we also do a little bit in West Sussex. And we work with victims of domestic abuse, sexual violence, and stalking. So, within that we deliver a number of different services and work in a number of different ways, but we are a victim focused organisation, we’re a registered charity and we’ve been going since 2011.

Host: Ok, so fairly new.

Zoe: Yeah.

Host: Yeah, but it’s one of those subjects, isn’t it, I mean that I mean stalking for one and obviously the domestic abuse has been going on, but the stalking has really sort of over the last few years been really highlighted and well in a positive way in some respects.

Zoe: Absolutely, yes so um, stalking has obviously been around for forever, but in 2012 was when stalking became a criminal offense in the UK.

Host: Is it fair to say it was probably more taken seriously?

Zoe: I think so, yeah, and I think there’s been a lot of work. There was a lot of work in the run-up to that legislation and since it there’s been more work that’s happened. But I think often people think of stalking as something that happens to celebrities. We see a lot of that stuff in popular media in films it’s been quite romanticized in terms of a behaviour, but in actual fact stalking is really quite prevalent. It happens to various different people, it happens in various different situations, so people might be stalked by an ex-partner, they could be stalked by an acquaintance by a stranger in some cases, and what I think films haven’t done particularly well is, is kind of portray really how frightening that is for the victims. So the legislation was really important, because we now have a criminal offense of stalking in its own right. Previously we had harassment legislation, and since then there’s been a lot of work done to really raise the profile and we certainly see a number of cases coming through the service so it’s a really important part of the service we deliver.

Host: You know we look at TV programmes we look at films you just sort of mentioned that there and social media as well. Do you think perhaps, you know, sometimes TV programmes and that sort of respect don’t actually help? They can somewhat make matters worse in some ways.

Zoe: I think sometimes they can, I think sometimes stalking is trivialized a little bit and it’s seen as kind of this idea of unrequited love and if you just keep pursuing people, isn’t that romantic? And eventually you know they’ll come to love you. And really as I say stalking takes a lot of different forms. So we know a lot of people are stalked by ex-partners it’s kind of an extension of domestic abuse that they’ve experienced previously in the relationship. And it really is terrifying you know? Stalking is incredibly psychologically damaging. It tends to go on for a long time, victims will experience really high levels of fear associated with that, so it’s really important that we do take it seriously and that we understand it. Because often stalking is a number of what seem like very small incidences but when you build that into a pattern that happens over a long period of time that really does take over somebody’s life.

Host: Yes, scary isn’t it? Because I think the song from the police…

Zoe: It is absolutely.

Host: Yeah is one, it really makes you stand up and think, yeah quite a classic song but…

Zoe: It’s quite terrifying.

Host: Because if you listen to the lyrics, it gives an idea of how serious the offense is.

Zoe: Absolutely and there is that feeling for victims, of really not knowing where a threat is coming from. You know? Depending on who the perpetrator is, and what they’re experiencing, where that person’s going to turn up, if they’re going to turn up. Because not all stalking involves ‘approach behaviors’ as we would call them. So a lot of that behaviour will happen online now. Obviously, with you know, we live our lives online don’t we? The whole cyber element. It would be unusual to see a case of stalking that doesn’t have a ‘cyber-element’ to it. So there’s lots of different access points. And what stalkers will do is they will use those access points, so they will look at the ways in, so for victims there’s really a sense of just being on high alert all of the time, and being worried and frightened all of the time. So, it really is a damaging thing to experience.

Host: Certainly on the Internet, because obviously, you know it’s free access to most people these days, and I guess with the stalking element it has sort of increased things a little bit.

Zoe: Yeah it’s made everybody more accessible hasn’t it? And I think in, you know it’s really important to flag up that’s a good thing, you know? We can stay in touch with people, we can stay in touch with our support networks, and that we’ve got access to so much more information and support online. But with that comes accessibility, and often we don’t think about what is out there on the Internet about ourselves, and our privacy settings and you know all the recent coverage of Facebook and all that kind of stuff. It’s really important for people just to be aware of their online presence and their online security. We would never say to people, you know to come off that stuff, and I wouldn’t want people to feel worried about that. But just to be aware of what those access points might be is sensible.

Host: And what about stalking here in this area, in Portsmouth? Is that a concern for your organisation?

Zoe: Well, we’re actually, Hampshire as a whole is really fortunate and we’ve been flagged up several times nationally as a best practice area in relation to the work we do around stalking. Because in Hampshire, what we do is we have a very strong multi-agency partnership in terms of the way we respond to stalking. So there is a Hampshire stalking clinic. There is a process by which cases of stalking are looked at by a partnership of the police the Crown Prosecution Service mental health professionals and our victim advocate are stalking team, to make sure that victims are supported properly, to make sure the investigations are effective, to make sure that we are tackling stalkers. Because that’s important you know, there are individuals that are fixated and obsessed, so if we don’t do something about their behaviour, it is likely they will either start that again or they will find somebody else to target. So we’ve been flagged up several times nationally as a best practice response. And in that way, we’re probably quite good at identifying it, I think so, it’s not necessarily a particular problem for the area, but services like ours will see a lot of cases because we’re, you know, we’re attuned to it really, yeah.

Host: This may sound like a daft question, but what are the sort of, the early warning signs of stalking? Sometimes you might not be aware this is actually happening.

Zoe: No and that can be really tricky I think.

Host: It’s how you define it, isn’t it?

Zoe: It’s how you define it. Stalking is essentially about fixation and obsession. So one of my favorite ways of remembering it is to think of the word F.O.U.R: so you are Fixated, Obsessed, Unwanted, and Repeated. That’s the type of thing that we’re looking around stalking behaviour, so it is about that fixation, it doesn’t tend to stop of its own accord. There would need to be some intervention, there really, if people are worried about any contact that they’re receiving, you know whether that be online/offline, if they feel uncomfortable. Stalking is about the imposition of a relationship on someone that doesn’t want it, whether that’s because there was a previous relationship and that’s ended, but that individual is trying to kind of regain that relationship, or whether it’s someone that they’ve not met before. If they feel uncomfortable, what I’d always say is: get in touch with somebody about it. You know, certainly our service, we’re happy to take calls, if people are concerned, we’re always happy to advise around kind of online safety, around the reporting process, around the options available. And keeping a diary can be a really good way of starting that process off as well, so kind of logging instances down, however trivial they may seem. You know, logging them down and logging down the details of that and how it made the individual feel can really help if there is kind of an investigation going forward. But always talk to someone if you’re concerned.

Host: It isn’t just a female thing?

Zoe: No, no, absolutely not. Predominately victims of stalking are female – yes, and predominantly perpetrators are male.

Host: That’s why I asked the question.

Zoe: But it’s absolutely not exclusively female victims that we deal with, so it’s really important that we kind of put that out there and it can happen to anyone. So often professionals can be stalked by, you know, clients or people that they’ve worked with, their patients you know, as I said it can be complete strangers sometimes. It can be just an individual that someone’s had the misfortune, if you like, to come into brief contact with. Anything that makes that person feel uncomfortable if they’re starting to feel like it is repeating, it is slightly obsessive, get in touch with somebody, talk it through, take some advice.

Host: Know the warning signs.

Zoe: Know the warning signs, and know that it’s not ok. You know all this stuff in popular culture about, oh well, it will probably stop or maybe I’m being, you know… victims have a tendency to feel like maybe they’re overreacting a little bit, or they might have friends and family around them, they’re saying “oh it’s probably nothing” or “he probably just likes you” that kind of stuff. If it’s making you feel uncomfortable, then it’s absolutely right that you get some support around it.

Host: Okay we’ll pause there for a bit of music now, I’m not sure which one you want first.

Zoe: Can we have Taylor Swift please?

Host: We can do that, we certain can do that, I guess there’s been a meeting here somewhere because you’ve asked the office for this haven’t you?

Zoe: Well, both song choices are out to the office, but I take credit for the Taylor Swift one because I am a fan of Taylor Swift and I’m not ashamed of it so it’s just a track I like, so ‘Shake it off shake it off’.

[Music]

Transcript 2: Express FM Interview with Aurora Part 2

Host: We talked about stalking and I’m going to give you all the information and all the necessary numbers, and all that kind of thing a little bit later on in the program. So stay tuned for that. So, we were talking about stalking Zoe. Obviously, domestic abuse is obviously a big thing too isn’t it? And over recent years, I guess, it has really sort of like stalking [entered] more into the public fray as it were.

Zoe: We’ve really moved forward, I mean, I’ve been doing this now for about 15 years and even in that time there have been real significant developments in terms of the way we respond to domestic abuse, the way we work together as agencies around domestic abuse. But it’s still, really, still incredibly prevalent and I think a lot of the time people don’t realise quite how prevalent it is. So we are still in a situation in the UK where 1-in 4 women at some point in time in their lives will experience domestic abuse, around one in 6 men, and 2 women a week in the UK are killed by a current or former partner so that’s about 1 every 3 days.

Host: Scary isn’t it? It’s a stat.

Zoe: It is a scary stat. And it’s been that way for a significant amount of time so it’s not increasing, but it’s not decreasing either. So really domestic abuse is something that we need to be aware of and able to respond to in the best possible way.

Host: When we say ‘domestic abuse’ this can be all sorts, can’t it?

Zoe: Yes, which is why we use the term ‘domestic abuse’ now. As opposed to ‘domestic violence’ because ‘domestic violence’ obviously has connotations that there is physical violence and there has to be physical violence for that to exist. And domestic abuse is actually much wider than that. So we know that there is physical violence a lot in abusive relationships and that physical violence can range from pushing, shoving, burning, kicking, pinching, to strangulation; attempts to block the airway and ultimately murder as we have already talked about. But there are a number of other behaviours that victims will often experience, some will not experience violence at all, we talk now a lot about coercive control which, again, is another new criminal offence, newish, since 2015. So coercive and controlling behaviour in an intimate relationship is now against the law in this country. And that doesn’t require any violence, that’s about someone’s every move being policed and watched and their life being controlled so that there is a significant impact on their day-to-day activities. Financial abuse is a real factor for a lot of our clients, the control around money.

Host (disapproving): Say yeah, it’s amazing isn’t it, to control someone’s finances.

Zoe: Yeah, a lot of our clients will report that they are given pocket money, that their money is restricted, that they are made to account for receipts.

Host: They’re almost treated like a child.

Zoe: Absolutely and it’s just an extension of that control. What happens in domestic abuse, because it is about power and control, is that every behaviour is designed to keep that person under the control of the perpetrator and subservient to them and fearful of the consequences of not following the rules. So the rules are set by one person [and] one person only, they will change based on what that one person wants to do. And it can be absolutely exhausting to try and kind of keep up with that. And then you’ve got the fear of violence, the threat of violence, and sometimes the use of violence that kind of underpins all of that. Financial abuse, verbal abuse, name-calling, and sexual violence is a massive factor for our clients as well. So some of them will experience that, so there’s a lot of different behaviours caught up in it and a lot of stuff to unpick, so not just physical violence and there doesn’t have to be physical violence for a relationship to be abusive.

Host: There’s so many strands to it isn’t there?

Zoe: Yeah, it’s a real complex issue.

Host: Again, yeah, we’ll give the necessary numbers and things like that a little bit later on in the program, how people can get in touch. The message though: if you are in that situation is too obviously seek help at whatever sort of level

Zoe: Absolutely, come and talk to a specialist service. And I think the important thing to say about that is that services like ours, and there are you know services up and down the country, depending on where people live, will not force somebody to take a particular course of action. So it’s not necessarily, you know, they don’t necessarily have to go to the police, they don’t have to report if they don’t want to. What we’re there to do is to listen, to talk to that client about what’s going on and to give them a number of options that are available to them and support them in accessing those options. Ultimately, what we want to do is make them safe, we want to have a little look at the risks in those relationships and we want to be able to give them the right options. But the first step is to reach out and to talk to somebody, and to tell somebody what’s going on which is really difficult, really hard.

Host: I imagine it is because it is like ‘is that person going to believe me’?

Zoe: Absolutely, and that’s the number one thing I think that clients will worry about, the victims will worry about, when they talk to services like ours, is, you know, am I going mad? Am I making a big thing out of this? Because part of the psychological abuse that they’ve often experienced is that what they’re experiencing has been minimized, or the perpetrator will deny their behaviour, or they’ll say it’s not as bad as you think it is, or this is normal. So they really start to question what’s going on for them and in some cases question their own sanity and own mental health.

Host: Put me downs?

Zoe: Absolutely and their self-esteem is on the floor, and their confidence is on the floor, they’re frightened a lot of the time. You know there’s a real fear around domestic abuse, and a real fear of the consequences of, you know, something huge like leaving that relationship. So come and talk to a service like ours, it is non-judgmental we’re not going to be prescriptive about what people do. Even if it’s just to get the options and have a think about it. You know, that’s what services are there for, and we recognize it can be scary, we’re there to believe people were there to listen and so we’d encourage people to get in touch.

Host: Zoe, you said you’ve been here, or not here, in the organization for about 15 years.

Zoe: I’ve been with Aurora since it started in 2011. And prior to that I was working in the domestic abuse sector, so I was working for the local authority.

Host: Okay, so you’ve seen a few changes in that sort of short space of time really.

Zoe: Yes, I have.

Host: Is it better?

Zoe: I think most of it’s for the better. I think what we have seen is huge reductions in funding, which is not ideal, over the last few years. And that’s a challenging environment to work in when you’re trying to deliver services and we’re trying to make as many people safe as possible. But in terms of positive changes, yes there are a number. We’ve talked about the legislation, and you know those things are really important. I think for me one of the biggest changes has been the way that we communicate with organizations like the police and the way that we work together and how open the police are as an organization.

Host: Has that broken down barriers?

Zoe: Absolutely, I mean when I first came into the sector we didn’t really talk to the police very much. You know, they did their job and we did ours. And that’s really changed. I mean we run a very successful partnership project now with Hampshire Constabulary. And DVA cars, which Lyn leads on, which is a project whereby we send advocates out with the police on crisis response to 999 calls on a Friday and Saturday night across the county.

Host: Is that the peak?

Zoe: Yeah, it tends to be. The advocates will also work during the week. So they will also do follow-up visits with the police, and safeguarding visits. But we have learnt an awful lot from them, I hope they have learnt an awful lot from us as well, from having advocates out with them. And that’s a really good example of how a charity and a statutory organisation are working really really closely together. Primarily, because it’s the best thing for victims. So they get an independent advocate when they’re calling the police, to offer a bit of support, specialist knowledge, and information. And the police can do their job around the investigation and the policey bit. And it works really really well. And what it helps to do, is for victims to feel more comfortable to engage with agencies in the long term, because they’ve met with somebody at that point of crisis which is really important.

Host: People perhaps listening tonight want to get in touch. Will want to get involved, because, I mean, like any organisation, you’re a charity too, you know? That’s the thing about all this. And you said, you know, you hinted, earlier that funding has been cut, and I’ve spoken to many organisations over the years.

Zoe: It’s a challenging climate.

Host: Yeah, in a similar situation, chasing the same amount of money, the same pot of money, it does get difficult. So all the fundraising, do you go out on the streets and shake a tin like the old days?

Zoe: Yeah, so we are a big fan of a crazy fundraiser at Aurora. So we have done various things in the past, we’ve done sponsored fire walks, we have done a sea swim at the beginning of March in the freezing cold Solent. We have done a sober karaoke for sponsorship. So we do a lot of fundraising, so if people are interested in supporting that or getting involved. And we also have people that will go out and do things like the great south run for us. One of the team is about to do the three peaks challenge, Cerise is about to do that for Aurora.

Host: Good luck Cerise!

Zoe: Good luck Cerise! So [if] people want to get involved, absolutely get in touch with us. We are also on Facebook as Aurora New Dawn and we are on Twitter at Aurora New Dawn. All of the details of all any fundraising that we do is up there and we welcome anybody that wants to support us in any way. If people want to get in touch with us about support and about our services, you can find our website, the contact details are on there. You can email us, you can give us a call, just reach out to us in any way that you feel comfortable.

Host: It’s a tough area too, I would imagine, I would imagine the demographics are sort of completely mixed, very diverse.

Zoe: Yeah, it is very diverse and our clients are very diverse. So, you know, with most of our services, we will work with clients ages 16 and up, we have clients that are well over 60, a broad spectrum of clients, [from] different backgrounds. You know, domestic abuse doesn’t discriminate, you know, it cuts across all kinds of cultural barriers and all of that kind of stuff. So it is really broad, but what I think we’re really good at doing is treating each client as an individual, and sitting down with them and finding out what it is that they want to do, and what it is that they need, and working with them around that.

Host: Yeah Zoe we’re going to play a bit of music, a bit of ‘Lizo’.

Zoe: Yes thank you.

Host: ‘Juice’.

Zoe: ‘Juice’, this was the team choice, this was over to the team, so thank you to the team.

Zoe: This is for the Aurora Team.

Transcript 3: Express FM Interview with Aurora Part 3

Host: To recap Zoe again, if people want to get in touch, or particularly feel vulnerable I think as well, you know, that the stalking issue of course or whatever domestic abuse situation they find themselves in.

Zoe: There are a number of ways people can get in touch with us, the contact details are on the website (click here). They can call us on 023 92 479254 or drop us an e-mail at info@aurorand.org.uk so Aurora New Dawn and as I say they can go to the website if they haven’t had a chance to write those details down. And get in touch if for some reason we’re not the right local service, we will signpost on. We will make sure we get you to the right place. If you are concerned, then please do get in touch with us. Our Facebook page is also open for messages if people feel more comfortable doing that and our DMs are open on Twitter.

Host: Look at that, all sorts of ways to get in touch

Life in a bubble

You know how your phone, laptop, tablet are all connected these days? Furthermore, they all monitor your activity and try to figure out who you are based on your searches and then tailor the adverts, news, and recommendations they beam to you to reflect this. Well, the challenge for my phone is that I share my devices with my wife and daughter.

My phone thinks I love (to name but a few) cartoon network, trip-hop and downtempo music, Russian politics (in Russian), Ryan’s toy review, Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper gossip, Grand Designs, and the traffic in Ryde. Therefore, whenever I check the news, this is what I typically scroll through; this is the bubble in which I live.

I was shocked, when one day in June, I was scrolling through the news and I stumbled upon an article that was on quite a different topic. A closed-down lap-dancing club, near where I live, was set to reopen. An establishment that self-identified as a sex entertainment venue/sex club was going to have a license to be open from 10 pm to 4 am every night, 2 minutes walk from where I live. Suddenly, I was lurched from my bubble.

Working with Aurora

My concern led me to seek out likeminded individuals and before I knew it, I was helping with the formatting of a blog entitled ‘The impact of lap dancing’ for Aurora New Dawn. From there, I was delighted to begin work optimising and updating the Aurora New Dawn website. I was so pleased because it was an opportunity to work on an important cause that I have always felt strongly about.

My job is to format content for the website and build/update web pages, this means proofreading everything, reading the content again, and again, and again. This means facing uncomfortable truths about male behaviour and more importantly, the scale of male perpetrated violence against women.

It’s not that I hadn’t been aware of issues such as domestic abuse, sexual violence, and stalking. However, what I had done is distance myself from such truths and insulated myself in a bubble of comfort. Working for Aurora, what had once been peripheral began to take centre stage.

Male privilege and ‘the bubble effect’

We men have many privileges. We are so used to many of our privileges that we may not even register them in our consciousness. For example, we are less likely to be interrupted when speaking^[1] and can take up more physical space in a public place.^[2] Both convenient male privileges that are just the tip of the iceberg.

The facts are:

• Men are much less likely to be on the receiving end of domestic abuse. I’ve seen statistics with numbers as high as 85% of domestic violence victims are women.^[3]
• Men are significantly less likely to experience sexual assault or rape, especially if they are a heterosexual male.^[4]
• Men are rarely the victim of street harassment.^[5]

For some men, like me, it can seem strange when a woman starts talking about something like sexual harassment in the street, I understand the concept, I’m appalled by the notion, but I’ve never experienced it. This unfamiliarity can marginalise the issue: As it doesn’t affect me, and I don’t see it, how many people can that possibly affect? As it turns out… many women.

One study found that 81% of 811 female respondents were the target of sexually explicit comments from an unknown man at least once in their lifetimes, with 41% saying this had happened at least 26 times in their life.^[6]

It is very easy to walk the streets when you are a sturdy 6ft 3” male. As a large man, when people say to me things like “It’s dangerous to walk the city streets at night”, I pause and think, “Well sure, theoretically I guess, but I’ve never been assaulted.”

Come to think of it:

• I’ve never been in a domestic abuse relationship.
• I’ve never been sexually assaulted.
• I’ve never been sexually harassed in the street.

When my work colleague joked that when she arranges first dates, she always has a little worry that her date is going to chop her into pieces and put her in a suitcase… she was able to cite sources for her concern.^[7] There’s a grain of truth in every joke.

How peculiar the thought is that a woman could be violent to me. My wife is 5ft, I can pick her and my daughter up at the same time. My wife has never once picked me up. On our first date, it never entered my mind that she could pose a physical threat to me. Throughout my life, on all the dates I’ve been on, I’ve never entertained the notion that my date might try and hurt me.

That’s not to say that women can’t be violent to men, of course they can and are. But very rarely. In fact:

• Men are significantly less likely to be killed by their female partner or ex-partner they are much more likely to be killed by men.^[8]
• In 2013-14, 93% of defendants in domestic violence cases were men.^[9]

Yes, men are victims too, but not on the scale that women are. Yes, women can be violent too, but not on the scale that men can be. So the baseline problem remains the same, male violence.

The reality for many women is that simply rejecting a man can lead to a violent backlash.^{[10] [11]}

Male privilege confronted by the scale of male violence

And so, as one day I worked on the sexual violence service page of the Aurora website, as a man reading and rereading, again and again about the scale of violence against women, I couldn’t help but feel angry, ashamed, outraged, and responsible.

Angry – at the perpetrators of violence. Ashamed – because the facts were so clear, that it is men perpetrating this violence in overwhelming numbers and I am a man. Outraged – that this goes on unchecked.

Responsible – because for too long I have distanced myself from issues such as the epidemic of male violence, to protect the sanctity of my bubble. Great for my bubble and me, I got to continue living in my rainbow-and-unicorn-filled existence. But not a great contribution to solving the problem of male violence.

Acknowledging the problem

In an age where we can filter incoming digital communication, it is easier than ever to filter out ‘negative input’. But how is that any different from hearing someone calling for help and then just turning the music up so you don’t have to listen?

The lesson I learned was that just because something is off your radar, it doesn’t mean that it isn’t happening. Ultimately, all men have women in their lives, whether it be a mother, sister, daughter, wife, girlfriend, friend, boss, work colleague, etc. What happens to them affects us too. If we don’t talk about the widespread crisis of male violence against women, how will it get any better?

Over the last week or so we have seen Aurora mentioned in social media posts relating to the partial funding of our Independent Sexual Violence Advocacy (ISVA) service.

We want to take this opportunity to clarify a few things.

Firstly, as an organisation we have our own voice and always speak for ourselves. It is incredibly important as a registered charity that we do not affiliate with any particular political party and we take this very seriously.

Our ISVA service

We have run an ISVA service in the city of Portsmouth since 2011. From 2011 – 2017 this was funded directly from central government.

Since 2017 we have provided an ISVA service across East Hampshire. We are very grateful to Portsmouth City Council for the funding they have placed into the partnership budget for ISVA services across Hampshire and Portsmouth. As a city with a large population, sexual violence victim rates in Portsmouth have remained consistently one of the highest across the Portsmouth and Hampshire.

If you would like a breakdown of what this funding has provided since 2011 to present, please do feel free to contact us at any time.

We enjoy a good relationship with the officers at Portsmouth City Council and are proud of our partnership across the county with other providers and with the police. None of our services are able to function properly without the good work of other agencies and we thank them all for their support and commitment to victims and survivors of sexual violence.

What you can do:

There is clearly a lot of conversation about this funding at the moment, so we thought it would be a great opportunity to galvanise on the energy, passion and commitment shown by those talking about sexual violence, an opportunity to move away from social media spats and to raise the profile of the experience of victims of sexual violence. There is so much to do and this is your call to action:

As members of the national End Violence Against Women coalition we would love for you to view, and if you feel able, take part in these campaigns:

1. Only 1.5% of rapes that are reported to the police are charged, that equates to only one in sixty five rapes reported ending up in court – The EVAW coalition argues that this is in effect “a decriminalization of this extremely harmful crime”. You can write to your MP and demand justice for rape victims here.
2. EVAW are also campaigning alongside Fern Champion to recognise the plight of survivors who are unable to access therapeutic services due to lack of funding – you can sign Fern’s petition here and write to your MP about the inadequate funding of rape crisis centres and specialist independent support services for victims of sexual violence here.
3. Finally if you want to do something for a local voluntary sector organisation (it doesn’t have to be anything related to Violence against Women) find a service you like, one that speaks to you, and organise a fundraiser. It doesn’t have to be banners and whistles, a simple cake sale or sponsored walk will do. Almost a decade of austerity has taken a huge impact on the voluntary sector, and any contribution will be greatly appreciated.

Most importantly for us we want to thank the victims and survivors who use our service. Thank you for trusting us and working with us. Every day we are astounded by your bravery and feel incredibly privileged to be working alongside you. We promise we will never give up on you and will continue to work hard to raise awareness about the struggles you face and to support you in any way we can.

Shonagh Dillon

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

The need for professional curiosity & responsibility in Stalking cases

Police misconduct was a feature of lessons to be learned in the murder of Shana Grice. There are many a lesson the police can learn from this case to prevent this type of misconduct from surfacing again. We are writing this blog post to show our respect to the memory of Shana Grice and send solidarity and support to her family.

Learning from a Police Misconduct Hearing*

The murder of Shana Grice

Shana Grice at the age of 19 was barely an adult at the time of her death. Shana was stalked and harassed by Michael Lane over a period of months after their break up. Given that we know Lane was reported to the police by thirteen other women for stalking, our experience tells us that Shana would very likely have been subject to high levels of coercive control from Lane during their relationship. Shana was clearly terrified of Lane and she was right to be. On the 25th of August 2016 Lane waited until Shana was alone, broke into her house and slit her throat^[1].

The investigations into possible misconduct by the police

Shana had turned to the police for protection and support on five separate occasions, but instead she was treated with suspicion, disregard and issued with a fine for wasting police time after she had reported Lane for stalking and harassment.

Timeline of reported stalking incidents

The timeline of reported incidents evidence that Shana was desperately reaching out to the police for help:

• On February 8th, 2016, Grice complained to police about being stalked by Lane after receiving unwanted flowers and damage to her car.
• On March 24th, Lane snatched her phone and grabbed her hair. He was arrested on suspicion of assault but later released and Grice was issued with a fixed penalty notice by the police for wasting their time by not disclosing she had been in a relationship with him.
• On July 9th, Lane used a stolen key to let himself into her home and watch her while she was apparently sleeping. She was actually awake, had heard his footsteps and hid under the duvet. She heard a man breathing in her room. Shortly afterwards, the man left, and when Grice looked out her window she saw Lane walking away. He was arrested for theft, given a police caution and told to stay away from Shana.
• The following day, she received around seven phone calls from a blocked number, including one with heavy breathing. She was told there were no further lines of inquiry and the case would be left on file.
• On July 12th, she reported to police that she was being followed by Lane. Police treated the case as “low risk”, but that the investigating officer would be made aware.
• On August 4th, she saw Lane loitering outside her home. She confided in her friend Joann Pumphrey that she was afraid that police wouldn’t believe her because of her previous fine for wasting police time. Although Joann was a witness to this, Shana didn’t report the incident to the police.

The police reaction to the misconduct

The police undeniably failed Shana and Sussex Constabulary have subsequently taken on the recommendations of the various investigations into their treatment of Shana and have hugely improved their responses to for stalking victims^{[2] [3]}.

Police Misconduct Hearing

One of those recommendations was a misconduct hearing against a now retired police officer, Mr Godfrey. Godfrey retired in 2017 on a full pension after 29 years of service. Godfrey’s involvement with Shana was in relation to the incident on 24th March, when Shana had reported Lane for assault and Mr Godfrey subsequently issued Shana a fine for wasting police time, he took just 84 seconds to relay this message to Shana. Five months later she was dead.

Godfrey spoke to the panel at his misconduct hearing on Monday 29th July 2019. Shana’s parents have spoken out about their views on the hearing being a ‘sham’ and they are clearly devastated that Mr Godfrey has not been found guilty of gross misconduct^[4].

Testimony at the Misconduct Hearing

We think his comments at the hearing are worth analysing further, particularly if lessons really are to be learned for officers still serving, the vast majority of whom will not want to repeat the same mistakes.

His testimony has been reported in several newspapers and include:

“The hearing was told that Godfrey was tasked with investigating an allegation of common assault on 25 March 2016 after Grice claimed Lane had chased and made physical contact with her.

During an interview, Grice made a number of other allegations against Lane, including that he had sent her flowers unsolicited and made numerous attempts to contact her. Lane was arrested and told Godfrey the pair were in a relationship, and provided details of mobile phone messages to back up his story.

Grice admitted she was having an affair with Lane, and in an 84-second phone call Godfrey told Grice she would be fined for wasting police time over the harassment allegations – a decision ratified by police bosses.

Godfrey stood by the decision when giving evidence to the misconduct panel. He said: “She [Grice] lied to police three times. It was only right I advised her she cannot keep lying in police statements and getting people arrested for it.”

James Berry, presenting the case against Godfrey, accused him of applying an inaccurate stereotype that a woman could not be at risk from a man with whom she was in a relationship.

Godfrey replied: “I don’t have those views … There was no history of violence between them, there was no evidence of violence, or risk, at that time.”

He said there was no sign of Grice being harassed. She had admitted that on one occasion Lane had waited outside her house late at night because she had arranged the meeting behind her boyfriend’s back.

Godfrey said: “She would be signing her texts [to Lane] with five kisses. This is not harassment. It was a smokescreen to disguise her affair.”

He said there was therefore no reason to supply Grice with safety advice regarding her relationship with Lane. “She was in an active relationship with him for six months. I can honestly say, hand on heart, there was nothing there to suggest she was in any form of danger whatsoever.”^[4]

“The hearing was told Mr Godfrey later informed Grice, during a phone call lasting less than a minute and a half, that her evidence of being harassed by Lane was discredited.

Mr Godfrey told the hearing: “Absolutely, she did waste my time. I arrested someone as a result of her evidence on a false allegation. She had committed a criminal offence.”

He said his colleague took the decision to give Grice a £90 fine.

“His decision, which I don’t disagree with, was that she should not be able to get away with making false statements,” he said.”^[5]

Understanding stalking

We wanted to go through Mr Godfrey’s claims in order to raise awareness and hopefully inform serving officers of the importance of understanding Stalking:

Claim 1

“She [Grice] lied to police three times. It was only right I advised her she cannot keep lying in police statements and getting people arrested for it.”

We do not see Shana as a liar. Survivors often do not tell the full story to people in authority because they are frightened, often for their lives. Had Godfrey used just a modicum of professional curiosity Shana might have begun to open up to the police about the risk she was in.

Claim 2

“…There was no history of violence between them, there was no evidence of violence, or risk, at that time.”

There was no evidence because Godfrey chose not to look for it. With care, empathy and a small amount of attention to detail Godfrey could have used his years of training to ask the right questions. To undertake a number of risk assessments and to search the police databases he had access to, in order to see that there was a plethora of evidence to enable him as a police officer to join up the dots against Lane and do the job he was paid for, which was obviously protecting Shana.

Claim 3

“She would be signing her texts [to Lane] with five kisses. This is not harassment. It was a smokescreen to disguise her affair.”

Ok, this is possibly one of the most ill-informed statements we have ever seen and we have seen a lot! We are sure that given his long standing career in the police, Godfrey would understand that taking things at face value can lead to assumptions being made. Perhaps, if Godfrey had taken a period of reflection, he may have looked at his attitude towards Shana, and assessed his own biases against a 19 year old girl, who was clearly at risk of murder and asked himself whether those five kisses were not a ‘smokescreen’ but a survival technique.

Survivors will do pretty much anything to keep the perpetrator calm and onside, particularly when they fear for their lives. We would suggest that Shana was using her own self-preservation and survival tactics to keep herself alive. It is a grave shame that Mr Godfrey wasn’t able to see past his own personal judgement that Shana was a nuisance and the perpetrator was the one being wronged. We would have hoped, given that Godfrey has had three years to reflect on his inaccurate assumptions of Shana, he would have adequate time to reflect on his actions in the case, but alas Godfrey came to the conclusion, even after Shana was murdered, that he was right in his decision making and still is.

As professionals, it is our responsibility to reflect on decisions that we make and think about how we could have done things differently, this is especially important after someone has been murdered and further, it is at the core of what a homicide review/investigation or serious case review is about. If we are to learn lessons, we as professionals must take responsibility for our actions, however difficult that process might be.

Claim 4

“….she should not be able to get away with making false statements”

We will say it once more, louder for the people at the back – We do not believe that Shana made false statements, she was not a liar, she was surviving and in doing so she had to tell only parts of the reality in order to stay safe. Perhaps Shana didn’t tell the police she was in a relationship with Lane because she felt she would not be taken seriously, perhaps Lane had told her again and again, nobody will believe you……perhaps the police response proved Lane right and left Shana at huge risk.

But more importantly – Godfrey seems incensed that people should be punished for making false statements. Let that sink in for a second….then remember…

Lane made false statements, repeatedly, and got away with it. Now Shana is dead.

Shonagh Dillon – CEO – Aurora New Dawn.

*all information evidenced in this blog post is readily available online.

Toxic masculinity is when the archetypal image of what it means to be masculine becomes harmful and aspirational. It thrives by penalizing behavior which does not conform to its standard and celebrating behavior which does.

Top 10 Toxic Masculinity behaviors

Being stoic

Men are constantly given the message that they must be self-reliant, independent, physically tough etc. Men are told that to be this way will make them successful in terms of business, society, and finding a partner. Being vulnerable will cause men to be ridiculed.^{[1] [2] [3]}

Being promiscuous

Typically, men will be praised by other men for sexual conquests. There is a well-known double standard regarding perceptions of male versus female promiscuity with men being praised by their peers and called ‘studs’ while rejecting women who have multiple partners and branding them ‘sluts’.^[4]

Championing heterosexuality as the unalterable norm

Many men are programmed to react negatively to the concept of homosexuality as it is a sign of deviating from the traditional male stereotype. Through popular rhetoric and from an early age when boys are learning about gender roles, men are taught that to be homosexual is to be less masculine.^[5]

Being violent

Statistically, men commit significantly more violent crime than women. There are numerous reasons for this, but there are clear links between male instigated violence and the need men have to use aggression and violence to prove their masculinity and bolster confidence in their masculine identity.^{[6] [7]}

Being dominant

To be preoccupied with power and dominance to a point that it causes harm to others, such as verbal, physical and online bullying. One study found that over a quarter of men thought they should have the final word in relationships, over a third of men believed that they had the right to know where their female partner was at all times.^[8]

Sexual aggression towards women

Men who conform to toxic masculinity standards are more likely to make sexual comments or sexist jokes to women, commit sexual harassment, accept rape myths and behave as if they are entitled to women’s bodies.^[8][9]

Not displaying emotion

Emotion is treated as being a feminine characteristic. Stifling emotion is seen as true manliness. From childhood, males are shamed to conform with the standard that to show emotion is weak and feminine.^{[10] [11] [12]}

Not being a feminist ally

It is unsurprising that the overly masculine would reject men who identify as the allies of feminists. Research shows that men engaging in feminist activism are the targets of harassment by men who prescribe to toxic masculinity as it is perceived as feminine and non-conformist to toxic masculinity.^[13]

Risk-taking

Connected to male dominance, toxic masculinity encourages taking risks to demonstrate dominance, men who buy into this are more likely to take extreme measures such as perpetrate violence, drive dangerously, gamble, abuse drugs.^[14]

Not engaging in household chores and caregiving

Again, housework and childrearing are seen as feminine qualities. Being asked to do a feminine deemed task such as housework, or worse, a man being criticised by a woman for not cleaning appropriately is often interpreted as an emasculating assault and provokes a masculine overcompensation response.^[15]

Who are we?

Aurora New Dawn is a feminist led charity dedicated to ending violence against women and children, and hidden violence. Since 2011, Aurora New Dawn has offered safety, support, advocacy, and empowerment to survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. We offer a variety of services and are involved in supporting feminist campaigns to end male violence against women.

Our work is guided by the principles set out in the United Nations Convention on the Elimination of All Forms of Discrimination Against Women or CEDAW, often referred to as an international bill of rights for women.

You can help Aurora raise vital funds to support victims and survivors of abuse:

Toxic Masculinity versus Femininity

Overall, as the previous behaviour shows, it can be seen that Toxic Masculinity will repeatedly reject femininity in all its supposed forms. When a man smashes against gender norms or supports femininity, it has a stigma attached. ‘Real men’ cannot behave in that way. If they do, these men will be abused, shamed or humiliated by a society embarrassed by the fact they are not conforming to masculine ideals.

This sends out a clear core belief of toxic masculinity: femininity is seen to be lesser than masculinity.

Why is it so bad for a man to exhibit what society quantifies as a feminine characteristic?

From showing emotion to carrying out household chores to supporting feminism, a man who does this is branded unmanly and rejected by toxic masculine followers. It seems bizarre, but when I do something as trivial as going to work and drink from my wife’s pink reusable coffee cup, I always receive a string of ‘friendly’ jibes from my colleagues… because it is pink… unbecoming of a man… and I must be less of a man for drinking from it.

Why is it that certain masculine-considered-qualities can be desirable while feminine ones are not?

When a young boy decides that he wants to look pretty and put on a dress then appear socially, he is often shamed and humiliated.^[12] Young boys are often guided by their parents away from expressing emotion or entering into open communication. All this an attempt by the parent to protect them from a negative social reaction, bullying or harassment.

Why is it that masculinity and femininity are not given the same equal value, why is it unacceptable for a child to wear whatever they want without being pigeon holed?^[16]

Toxic Masculinity versus Masculinity

Toxic masculinity corrupts the concept of what it means to be a man, misrepresenting it to society and encouraging/condoning appalling behaviour. It exists as a social construct that hides/excuses/dismisses it and enables it to continue. It is incredibly destructive to its followers. There are numerous findings on the negative impact of conforming to the aforementioned Toxic Masculinity norms:

• Men are more likely than women to engage in unsafe sexual behaviour and pursue multiple partners.^[17]
• Men have shorter life expectancy than women, are more likely to commit suicide or die at the hands of violent crime.^{[14] [18]}
• Men seek healthcare at much lower rates than women do.^[1]
• Men are less likely to complete college courses.^[19]

How can Toxic Masculinity be addressed?

In order to address the problem of toxic masculinity, it must first be recognised that it is a problem. Masculinity is not intrinsically a bad thing and can hold many aspirational characteristics, such as being the protector, being strong and courageous.^[19]Furthermore, studies have shown that masculine and feminine role models complement each other in childrearing.

But… and it is a big ‘but’, toxic masculinity holds no place in a civilized world. It is the worst embodiment of masculinity. It is masculinity on steroids and it is epidemic.

Violence and recognising it is a male problem

It is absolutely necessary to address the elephant in the room and acknowledge that there is a connection between issues such as violence and sex based oppression. Few will be surprised to hear that males commit nearly 90% of violent crimes in the USA.

“Physical aggression is a socially constructed gendered behaviour embedded in the social meanings of masculinities across many cultures. The general unwillingness of people to recognize that violence is a men’s issue is also reflected in the broader scientific literature.” Kilmartin & McDermott.^[20]

The link between toxic masculinity and domestic abuse

Aggression and violence in males are frequently attributed to the need for men to fulfil masculine ideals. These ideals being the distorted ones of toxic masculinity: supress emotion, assert dominance, defend your masculinity when threatened, use violence to prove your masculinity and exert power and control.

Men who conform to toxic masculinity norms are much more likely to engage in violence against women.^[21] This is further supported by the fact that in 2017, the World Health Organisation reported that 38% of murders of women were by an intimate male partner.^{[22] [23]}

How can we end toxic masculinity?

Those who conform to the toxic masculinity standard use the institutionalisation of toxic masculinity to protect their positions. By perpetuating its myth, by practising its values, powerholders can defend their positions in a male hierarchy. If men look up at hyper-masculine men with admiration, they will not criticise their behaviour.^[24]

It is only when men take a stand against this behaviour, reject aggression, dominance and all the other toxic masculine characteristics as masculine norms that the hierarchy will crumble.

Positive male role models

I think we can all agree with the American Psychological Association when they state:

“Boys learn to be men from the men in their lives, from their own experiences navigating our social norms, and from the large social and cultural context.”^[23]

Men are the disciples of toxic masculinity, men are the perpetrators of violence against women, men are responsible for taking stock of their actions and correcting their course.

We know that what is considered gender appropriate behaviour shifts over time, that what is deemed masculine or feminine is acculturated,^[25]men have the power to change their destiny and the identity of masculinity.

When boys look up to men, do we want them to imitate a culture of violence? Or to aspire to the best qualities of what it means to be a man? Where did all the gentlemen go?

Lap dancing is often dismissed as something harmless. But is it? Do we really want to live in a society that encourages the commodification of women? Especially in times of hardship. With the reopening of Elegance nightclub in Portsmouth, we explore this issue.

Ongoing objections to sexual entertainment venues in Portsmouth:

The Portsmouth City Council Licencing Sub Committee was held on 10/09/19 to consider the renewal of the license for a lap dancing club (a Sexual Entertainment Venue or SEV) in Granada Road, Southsea, in the city of Portsmouth.

The committee members included:

• Cllr Claire Udy
• Cllr Lee Mason
• Cllr Jason Fazakerly

Also present was Cllr Scott Payter-Harris

We only became aware of the license renewal for the Sexual Entertainment Venue (SEV), late last week. To be clear we have not been involved in this debate in the city for some time but following a few of our supporters urging us to add our voice again we lodged an objection.

Why our objection to the Portsmouth lap dancing club was refused

Our objection was refused by the Licencing Sub-committee on the grounds that we were too late in our submission and after information given to the committee on late objections, of which there were a few, the Licensing manager advised and the committee accepted that the late submissions were not materially different to the five objections given to the committee within the statutory time frame.

We respect this decision and given that it was the view of the committee and the Licensing manager that our objection offered no additional information we thought it pertinent to provide information on our submission and our thoughts on the license renewal below:

What is the Portsmouth Council’s view on Sexual Entertainment venues?

Our view on the licensing of sexual entertainment venues hasn’t changed since we fought alongside other residents in the city for a ‘Nil Cap’ in 2012.

The Council’s own SEV policy states: “that there is no place within the City of Portsmouth of which it could be said that it was situated in a locality in which it would be appropriate to license a sex establishment”. We understand that this decision was then subsequently amended in private by the licensing committee in 2012:

Draft SEV policy as set out ‘Option 2’:

Notwithstanding the provisions of paragraph 7.10 (relating to the numerical control on the number of sex establishments in a particular locality) the presumption to refuse shall not apply to:

• The renewal or variation of an existing sex establishment license; or
• The grant of a new sex establishment licence, whereby an application was made during the transitional period 1 November 2011 until 31 October 2012 to those premises that can demonstrate to the satisfaction of the Licensing Authority that during the 12 months prior to the commencement of the transitional period they have been regularly providing sexual entertainment that previously was only regulated under the Licensing Act 2003.

The Nil Cap and Portsmouth lap dancing clubs

At the time of the Nil Cap introduction, we understood this to mean, in layman’s terms, that in effect, a nil cap was introduced, however, this did not apply to clubs with an existing license or those licensed and active in the period described. This is in direct contradiction to the previous decision and we lodged our complaint about this in 2012.

The impact of Sexual Entertainment Venues on Portsmouth women

We are now in seven years on and austerity has taken its toll on our city. Our previous objections remain.

By renewing or allowing the licencing of SEVs in the city the committee is advocating that in times of economic hardship, it is acceptable and expedient for the local authority to rely on the commodification of female residents to generate income. This is difficult to accept at the best of times, but again, it is even harder to understand given the Council’s previous consultation, policy and decision on the licensing of SEVs.

The link between Sexual Entertainment and Violence

Our organisation works every day with the end result of socially entrenched sexism, namely domestic abuse, sexual violence, and stalking. In the national and international women’s sector of which we are an active part, there is no doubt that the sexual objectification of women – as practiced in SEVs, for example – is directly linked to the incidence of sexual and domestic violence. To be clear, this is not a matter of opinion or conjecture. The link between the objectification of women and discrimination and violence towards women is recognised at an international level by the legally binding United Nations Convention to Eliminate Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), which repeatedly calls upon states – including the UK government – to take action against the objectification of women.

The normalisation of porn culture and the objectification of women as a sex class is apparent every day in our society. As members of the End Violence Against Women Coalition, it is of note to refer to their research which evidences “that girls face intolerable levels of harassment in schools on a daily basis. Access to pornography while at school is commonplace and nude images are traded like football stickers. Outside the classroom, abuse of women and girls continues at alarming rates in our society: two women are killed each week by partners or former partners, and over half a million rape and sexual assaults happen each year in England and Wales.”

A survivor’s story

We are also encouraged and empowered by survivor campaigners like the indomitable, Sammy Woodhouse, a victim of the Rotherham child rape scandal and previous lap dancer who is calling for lap dancing clubs to be shut down due to her experience:

“I’m calling on council officials to actually go in and find out for themselves how these clubs are being run. When they are going in they’re finding these clubs are not safe at all, there is a lot of criminal activity going on and it’s something that needs to be shut down once and for all. I’ve lost count how many times myself and other people were sexually assaulted – that happens on a nightly basis. What you’re told is “you’re a lap dancer you’ve got to expect this”. No one should ever be expected to be touched, groped or assaulted. I know girls that have been drugged and raped. It’s almost as if the clubs are grooming the girls to think that the people who work in these clubs are like a tight family network and that they care about the girls, that they’re one big happy family…Essentially, they’re selling women – we’re in 2018 and people think it’s alright to go buy a woman for whatever sexual need it is? Do we want little girls growing up to be a lifeline for lonely old men? It’s exploitation”.

Our request to the Portsmouth City Council

We have requested information from the licensing team at Portsmouth city council, including, but not limited to, a record of the discussions held by the committee members and the due regard and analysis applied by the members to the Equality Act 2010 and the Public Sector Equality Duty in relation to sex as a protected characteristic. It is our strongly held view that the operation of SEVs does have a negative impact on women and girls as a sex class.

Moreover we would ask the council to reconsider their stance on SEVs and their operation in the city. What is the point of the council claiming they have a Nil Cap when in effect they have never actually applied this exemption?

Shonagh Dillon

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

Tommy Robinson, a special political adviser for UKIP, announced that should he be elected to the European parliament in the 23rd of May 2019 elections, he would voluntarily donate his MEP salary to victims of abuse. What’s not to like? As it turns out, a lot!

Open letter, from women and women’s organisations regarding ‘Tommy Robinson’ and his Euro Election Candidacy

Who is Tommy Robinson?

Born on the 27th of November 1982, in Luton, Stephen Yaxley-Lennon, most commonly know as ‘Tommy Robinson’ is an anti-islam activist and former founder/leader of the English Defence League. Convicted of numerous crimes, and banned from Facebook and instagram for hate speech and insiting violence. Tommy Robinson made a bid to become an MEP for the northwest of England in the May 2019 elections.

What crimes has Tommy Robinson committed?

Tommy Robinson has served time in prison, been banned from football, made some disturbing comments to a 15 year old girl online, and been charged with a whole host of convictions. Listed here, are just some of his crimes.

In 2005, Mr. Robinson was given prison time for assault

Tommy assaulted an off-duty police officer who was attempting to intervene in a domestic incident between Tommy and his partner.

In 2011, he was charged with threatening, abusive or insulting behaviour

This was due to Mr. Robinson leading a street brawl with over 100 football fans. Police officers on scene described it as incredibly intimidating to members of the public.

Later in 2011, he received another assault charge

This was a charge of common assault which took place at an EDL demonstration in Blackburn.

In 2013, he was again sent to prison, this time for possession of a false passport

Tommy Robinson attempted to travel to the U.S using someone else’s passport, but was stopped at JFK airport.

Another count of fraud he was charged with in 2013 was mortgage fraud

Tommy was involved in a fraudulent conspiracy to obtain a mortgage through ‘misrepresentation’.

In 2018, Tommy Robinson was put into custody for breach of the peace

After an hour of Facebook live broadcasting, Tommy was arrested outside the Leeds Crown Court.

In 2019, Tommy was found guilty of being in contempt of court

This is due to ‘aggressively confronting’ the defendants on trial for grooming children and inciting his followers to do the same. It resulted in the case almost being thrown out of court.

We could go on about his criminal record, including drug abuse and football hooliganism, but you get the picture.

What was Tommy Robinson’s pledge to victims?

Tommy Robinson promised that, should he be elected an MEP, he would donate his earnings to victims of sexual grooming. It is our opinion that Mr. Robinson is not a role model for others to look up to and this offer exploited victims and survivors to further his racist agenda.

Who are the EVAW Coalition?

EVAW or the End Violence Against Women Coalition are a specialist group made up of support services, activists, survivors, research specialists and NGOs. The goal of the EVAW alliance is to put a stop to all manifestations of violence brought against women and girls.

The EVAW open letter

The EVAW composed an open letter to reject Tommy Robinson’s offer and our CEO is a proud signatory on this. Since this article was first written, Tommy Robinson’s bid to become MEP was defeated.

The open letter rejecting Tommy Robinson’s offer

Dear Media Editors,Community Leaders, MPs, Activists, Friends,

‘Tommy Robinson’, a man convicted of assault, rioting and fraud, a thug with a long history of making racist statements, has made a career out of causing trouble and division. He is now standing as an MEP candidate in the North West.

Tommy Robinson has made claims that, if elected, he will offer his salary to the child victims of what he terms ‘Muslim rape gangs’. We, as organisations and individuals fighting tirelessly against the abuse of women and girls, as survivors of abuse and their families, and as people who care about our communities, do not want your money, Tommy.

We are calling on the people of the North West to reject Tommy Robinson’s hatred, to register to vote and to turn out against him in the upcoming European Elections. He has no place as our elected representative.

Those who have suffered sexual and physical abuse were failed by those who should have protected them. But Tommy Robinson is no ally for the children he claims to stand up for. Tommy doesn’t care about the rights of women and girls – he is exploiting the pain of survivors and their families to fuel racist hate for his own gain. He is a misogynist and has recklessly put victims at risk for his own moment of the media spotlight.

Tommy Robinson’s factually incorrect messages about ‘grooming’, and his attempt to portray himself as a champion of the cause, are an insult to survivors of abuse.

They are also a profound insult to the women who have spent their whole lives building support services for survivors and working to ensure some cases finally got to court. Where were you during that work Tommy Robinson? The far right was never any part of this work.

We do not want a convicted thug and racist who does not truly care about abuse survivors on our ballot papers and we reject you Tommy Robinson.

In solidarity,

Sarah Green & Rachel Krys, Co-Directors, End Violence Against Women Coalition

Gurpreet Virdee, Co-Director, Women and Girls Network

Stella Dadzie, British Educationalist, activist, writer and historian

Shonagh Dillon, Founder and CEO, Aurora New Dawn

Pragna Patel, Director, Southall Black Sisters

Mary-Ann Stephenson, Director, The Women’s Budget Group

Maggie Parks OBE, Chief Executive, The Women’s Centre Cornwall

Diana Nammi, Executive Director, Iranian Kurdish Women’s Rights Organisation

Amna Abdul- Children and Young People’s Lead, National Women’s Aid

Women’s March London

Akeela Ahmed MBE, founder, She Speaks We Hear

Aisha Ali-Khan, founder, Women United

Dr. Shola Mos-Shogbamimu, Lawyer and founder, Women in Leadership publication

Rachel Krengel, Intersectional Feminist Activist

Carys Afoko, founder, Level Up

Harriet Wistrich, Director, Centre for Women’s Justice

Marai Larasi MBE, Executive Director, Imkaan

Baljit Banga, Director, London Black Women’s Project

Christine McNaught, CEO, FWT Centre for women

Naana Otoo-Oyortey, Executive Director, FORWARD

Yvonne Traynor, CEO, Rape Crisis South London / Surrey Sussex

Dr. Miranda Horvath, Middlesex University

Natasha Walter, Feminist Activist and Author – Living Dolls

Gemma Snowball, DHR Team Development Manager, Standing Together Against Domestic Violence

Rebecca Vagi, Housing Manager, Standing Together Against Domestic Violence

Miranda Pio, Programme Manager and Policy Lead, Standing Together Against Domestic Violence

Professor Aisha K. Gill, Professor of Criminology Co-Chair of EVAW

Aisha Graham-Sharif-, Intersectional Feminist Activist

Philomina Azu, Intersectional feminist activist

Forida Khatoun, Equalities Campaigner

Shazia Shamim, Equalities Campaigner

Monsura Mahmoud, Equalities Campaigner

Shaista Aziz, Cllr Rose Hill and Iffley, Oxford

Professor Marianne Hester, University of Bristol

Professor Liz Kelly CBE, London Metropolitan University

Yasmin Rehman, Human Rights Activist

Dr. Fiona Vera-Grey, School of Law, Durham University

Jo Todd, CEO, RESPECT

Sara Kirkpatrick, RESPECT

Rasheda Ashanti Malcolm, Author and Domestic Abuse Specialist

Rachel Adamson, Director, Zero Tolerance

RMT Women’s Advisory Group

Signatory list accurate at the time of publishing.

Reviewing the case of Natalie Connolly

Along with many others, we have written to the Attorney General to ask for a review into the case of Natalie Connolly and the unduly lenient sentence given to her killer, John Broadhurst.

As ever our thoughts are with Natalie’s family and friends. We hope in some way we can help support them and bring justice to her. Her life meant something to them, and to us, and her death is currently the script of her killer.

You can write to the Attorney General at to ask for a review into this unduly lenient sentence at uls.referrals@attorneygeneral.gov.uk.

A copy of our letter

Dear Attorney General,

I am writing as the CEO of a charity that supports victims and survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking in the South East of England. I have worked in this sector for over two decades.

I was shocked and saddened to see the case details of Natalie Connolly emerge this week and the sentence that was passed down to her killer, John Broadhurst. Broadhurst received three years and eight months. I am shocked and confused that this case was changed halfway through the murder trial to being tried under manslaughter. Given the circumstances of the case, I am further disappointed and appalled at what appears to be an unduly lenient sentence handed to Broadhurst by Justice Julian Knowles.

It is noteworthy that this sentence was handed down on the same day as the publication of the third Femicide Census, which evidences the murders of women in the UK over 2017 and the sheer impact and brutality that male violence has on women in this country.

Natalie received 40 separate injuries to her body. Including internal trauma, a broken left orbital bone, facial injuries and a bottle inserted into her vagina which broke and severed an artery.

The case appears to be one where the Justice system asserts that Natalie “consented” to being murdered. Natalie has been forgotten and justice has been denied of her. For example, Justice Knowles comments in his sentencing remarks:

“24. I cannot be sure that Natalie was not capable in fact of consenting, notwithstanding her extreme intoxication, and I will proceed on the basis that she did indicate her consent to being beaten by you with a shoe and with your hand.

25. I also accept that some of the injuries Natalie suffered, including the bruising to her head and the blow out fracture to her left orbit – which were probably her most serious injuries – may have been caused accidentally as she stumbled around in a heavily intoxicated state and collided with objects or caught herself in the face with her watch. I do not hold you responsible for those.”

I am concerned that the law has not been applied correctly here with particular reference to capacity to consent under the Sexual Offences Act 2003:

• Section 74 defines consent as ‘if he agrees by choice, and has the freedom and capacity to make that choice’. Prosecutors should consider this in two stages. They are:

“Whether a complainant had the capacity (i.e. the age and understanding) to make a choice about whether or not to take part in the sexual activity at the time in question.

Whether he or she was in a position to make that choice freely, and was not constrained in any way. Assuming that the complainant had both the freedom and capacity to consent, the crucial question is whether the complainant agrees to the activity by choice.

The question of capacity to consent is particularly relevant when a complainant is intoxicated by alcohol or affected by drugs….”

The statements by Justice Knowles appear to contradict themselves. How could Natalie be so intoxicated that in his view she was able to break her own bones from “stumbling around” yet in this intoxicated state she still, in his view, has the capacity to consent?

Broadhurst has shown no remorse in his treatment and killing of Natalie, he left her bleeding and dying at the bottom of the stairs, went to bed and slept. His words to the call handler when he did decide to call was that Natalie was “as dead as a doughnut”. The paramedics stated he showed no remorse for Natalie’s death.

Evidence was submitted to the jurors that Broadhurst was jealous and controlling and wanted to teach Natalie “a lesson” for chatting to other men. He certainly took control of Natalie’s life, he ended it. This is the ultimate control and the last use of power from a man who, in my view, saw Natalie as nothing more than his property to use, abuse, rape, mutilate and kill.

The only person’s voice that has been heard in this case is that of Broadhurst, a man whose behavior seems very typical of a predatory abuser in relationships. A man whose view of Natalie was so little he has written a script for his killing of her that blames her entirely and his script has been accepted by the justice system.

Victims and survivors will have seen this news. Victims and Survivors will read it. They will know that their version of Broadhurst is reading it too.

We, therefore, request a full in-depth review into the case of Natalie Connelly. Her death has affected many, not least her child, her siblings, her family, and her friends, but survivors everywhere. It is imperative that in honouring the life of Natalie, this case is reviewed and the right message is sent out to perpetrators of male violence against women.

Yours Sincerely,

Shonagh Dillon LLB

CEO – Aurora New Dawn

The Aurora Abuse Support Helpline and Referral Service

It is with great sadness that Aurora’s Abuse support Helpline and Referral Service ended on the 31^st March 2018, after 6 years of operation.  I have been so proud to be the manager of this service since its inception, and along with the CEO of Aurora New Dawn, I feel we created a service that offered a unique addition to both Aurora services and the other domestic abuse support services offered across the county.  I wanted to take time to write this blog to share my experience and to thank everyone who has been involved.

The start of the Helpline

The Aurora Helpline and Referral Service came into operation in August, 2012. As an organisation, we were conscious that DVA survivors in our local and surrounding area did not have access to a local independent Out of Hours specialist service.  This meant that the only option that survivors had if they needed support during the night or over the weekend, was to call the police or a national helpline service.  Not all survivors want police support at this time and whilst we appreciate and respect the work of the national support helplines, we wanted to offer a bespoke, localised triage option for survivors.

We also wanted to offer a referral pathway for services such as police, nurses and out of office emergency teams that could refer survivors of domestic abuse at the time of crisis. Our volunteers could engage with survivors immediately and offer emotional empathetic support as well as safety planning, risk assessing and onward referral to a specialist service in their area.

With this in mind the Aurora Helpline and Referral Service was ‘born’. At the time, it was an innovative service that offered a real opportunity for survivors to receive early support at a time when they needed it most and offered early access to specialist services providing wraparound support for them. The underlying premise was simple and evidence-based; there is a ‘window of opportunity’ when people seek help and if you offer support at that point, they are more likely to engage with support services and the criminal justice system (Domestic Violence Matters, 2005). This engages people quickly, improves their safety and reduces the likelihood of future incidents.

Who did the Helpline help?

Aurora supports both female and male survivors of domestic abuse but as per national and global statistics the overwhelming majority of survivors that came through our helpline were female, 96% and 89% of alleged perpetrators were male. These figures support and evidence the fact that domestic abuse is a gendered crime. The Crown Prosecution Service data (2014-15), shows that 93% of defendants in domestic abuse court cases are male, and 84% of victims are female with two women still being murdered due to male violence every three days in England and Wales (ONS, 2017)

Although I managed the service it was the volunteers that enabled every shift to happen every year even at Christmas and bank holidays since August 2012. Over that time, the helpline has been supported by 88 volunteers offering a service to 2460 clients. The volunteers offered their services for free and came from all walks of life. We have had volunteers from the University of Portsmouth, survivors of domestic abuse, health care professionals and community members who wanted to give something back. One thing all our volunteers have in common is that they care deeply about the survivors, are passionate about the work Aurora delivers, keeping the feminist ethos and model central to their work, and they are empathetic to our survivors’ experiences whatever stage of their journey they are on.  They want to help and support whether that is a listening ear, safety information or support to engage in the criminal justice system.  Our amazing volunteers have heard some very harrowing stories and yet they have dealt with all situations with professionalism in a person-centred way.

What our volunteers say:

“Volunteering for Aurora alongside my studies has allowed me to gain real-life experience in helping victims of DV that university could not provide. I will truly miss working with this service. My appreciation for this service is immense and I wish the ‘Aurora New Dawn’ community the best of luck for the future.  You’ve made my university experience phenomenal and for that, I cannot thank you enough.”

“Volunteering for Aurora has given me so much insight into how brave survivors are. Their resourcefulness never fails to inspire me. I love being on the helpline.”

What survivors say:

Survivor’s voice is a central part of all our service provision and we believe in capturing their experience to ensure our services are working for them, as such we undertake evaluations with all survivors. For the period of 2017 to 2018 completion of qualitative evaluations with clients using the helpline evidenced the following:

• 83% of clients said they had a greater understanding of risk
• 68% said they were satisfied with the police at the time of contact
• 100% said they had ‘an increased sense of wellbeing’ after speaking with our volunteers
• 100% of clients said that an out of hours’ helpline was important to them

The helpline and Portsmouth

The service has changed and developed over the last six years in line with new contracts and commissioning that has come into place, some of which Aurora has been lucky enough to be involved in. For the past three years, the service has been operating for Portsmouth City only and the core premise of our Helpline was, and remained, the safety of the survivors, how best we can support them and an easy access referral route for survivors and professionals out of hours. The overwhelming majority, 86%, of our referrals came from the police response and patrol officers in Portsmouth and we want to thank them for working in such close partnership with us and trusting us to make a difference to our shared client group.

Wishing the helpline goodbye

I have thoroughly enjoyed implementing; managing and at times being an on-call ‘volunteer’ throughout the six years. I feel huge sadness at the loss of this service but I equally feel very privileged and proud to have been part of such a simple process that engaged so many women at a point where they were ready to talk to us.

I wish to thank the volunteers for their dedication and unyielding support, the partner agencies who referred to us and to the Office of the Police and Crime Commissioner for funding the service. Most importantly I want to extend a MASSIVE thank you to all our brave survivors who trusted us with their stories and allowed us the time to offer them practical and emotional support.

The survivors are some of the strongest, bravest and most resilient people I have met and they always remind me that – Everyone is entitled to live a life free from violence and abuse.

I want to honour the survivors who trusted us and give the final words to them:

“The volunteer was amazing, kind and considerate when asking questions. The service has been really good and helpful. In the situation it’s really nice to have someone that doesn’t judge.”

“Overwhelmed with how much support was available, thank you.”

“Kind – great to speak to.  Genuine and caring and supportive people who understand the issues of DV.”

“Felt help straight away.  Helped recognise other forms of abuse and gained knowledge.”

“Help and explanation Aurora gave was brilliant.”

“Lots of support and felt very comfortable by knowing that there are services here to help.”

“Very supportive and encouraging, would give her [volunteer] the best rating – very high level.”

“They believed me and that is all I needed.”

Lyn Tiller

Aurora – Community Projects Manager

REFERENCES

Evaluation of Domestic Violence Matters; Dr. Liz Kelly et all 2011 and Home Office Research Study 290 Marianne Hester and Nicole Westmarland, University of Sunderland 2005.

Crown Prosecution Service, Violence against Women and Girls Crime Report, 2014–2015.

Office for National Statistics, Crime Statistics, Focus on Violent Crime and Sexual Offences, Year ending March 2016, Chapter 2: Homicide (Published online – Click here: Office for National Statistics, 2017)