Dear Spotted Portsmouth,

I hadn’t come across your page until yesterday when a colleague introduced me to the ‘unique’ Spotted Portsmouth approach to celebrating our beautiful city. Ironically, as it happens we were travelling back to Portsmouth from a meeting on a national roll-out of training for Stalking Awareness and Cyber Crime at the time.

By now, every one of your page’s followers (and a few thousand more besides) are aware of your post a few days ago, subsequently removed, of a woman whose skirt had ridden up whilst she stood chatting on a night out. The photo, taken from the back, was clearly taken without her knowledge.

It would seem that the human approach – the polite tap on the shoulder and a quiet word to let her know what had happened – had passed one (some?) of your followers by. Instead, out came the smartphone, up went the photo, and so commenced the public shaming, bullying, and vilification of a woman who did nothing other than stand talking to people on a pavement, outside a bar, without realising that her dress wasn’t quite playing along.

What followed was a thread that quickly became a diatribe of sexist and degrading comments about her appearance and her choices, supplemented with the usual sexually violent name-calling: she was branded a “Slut”, and a “Slag”, for example. But this wasn’t a shock to you, because it’s your MO. In fact, you make quite the habit of posting these kinds of pictures on a regular basis – of women and of men, of those who look different, those who don’t fit in with the standards you feel people should be adhering to on any one particular day. You are, it would seem, the self-proclaimed lifestyle police.

Spotted Portsmouth’s Contribution to a Serious Problem

But back to this particular photo and the accompanying comments. In our line of work, this kind of culture is what we deal with on a daily basis. You cannot detach the nature of the comments made on this picture from the attitudes that contribute to the all-consuming emotional distress we see first-hand on a daily basis. When we talk with victims of rape – which we do daily – the first thing they always do is blame themselves. Why? Because society is blaming them too. 26% of people in our society still think a woman is partly or totally responsible for being raped if she was wearing sexy or revealing clothing and 30% of people think a woman is partly or totally responsible if she was drunk.^[1] We live in a society where women are constantly criticised – for their appearance, the way they dress, how much they have had to drink, and whether they fit into the narrowly-defined and constantly-changing societal view of ‘acceptable’. Your page, in the posting of this photo and in your general disregard for the wishes and feelings of others, supports and promotes these attitudes. And it’s not just women – anyone is fair game if your history is anything to go by.

Since this post has subsequently been removed, I might have assumed that you agreed with the danger of supporting such comments. Until, that was, up popped another photo – this time of someone else – and so the cycle of shame and bullying resumed. Pictures of people drunk and “embarrassing” themselves are offered up for ridicule by yourself and your supporters. Yesterday numerous comments were left under these posts that clearly justified the actions of ridiculing another for the purposes of entertainment. Your supporters are resolute: if you don’t want photos taken then don’t behave a certain way, don’t embarrass yourself in public, don’t wear this, and for God’s sake don’t drink that much, because if you do then we have the carte blanch to bully the hell out of you with absolutely no regard for the impact.

What is perhaps most alarming about these justifications is that we teach five-year-olds in school that bullying is wrong, that deriding someone because of their actions, appearance, or anything else and ganging up on them is nasty and will hurt their feelings or the feelings of others. Even young children ‘get’ this concept. It is unfortunate that you do not.

But wait, you are just the conduit for the information being shared on your page to 27+ thousand people, so it’s not your fault right? Wrong. At what point do you so completely lose touch with your own humanity that, when this kind of photo crosses your desk, your first thought is to press a button and offer it up to the keyboard warriors of the world for public ridicule? Next time you feel the urge to get out the phone, stop and think, how would you feel if this was your sister, mother, brother, daughter, son….or you?

There is a lot of information on your page being shared about the right to privacy, apparently you and your supporters are all well aware of the law, but it isn’t that simple. You can read more about harassment here. It only takes for the photo you post to be shared a few times (which yours regularly are) before we get into the muddy waters of harassment.

Despite your prolific posting about free speech yesterday, I found it interesting that anyone disagreeing with you or appealing to your better nature was deleted and blocked. Some may call that a bit of a dichotomy but I will leave you to wrestle with that one all on your own.

Where do we go from here?

So this is where I will attempt to appeal to your better nature because I live in hope that behind your page and your computer you do have one:

It is time to stop. If people are offended it is for good reason. Next time you are sent a photo for the purposes of public shaming please pause before you click the share button. You have no idea who the subject of the photo is, you have no idea who their family, kids and friends are. You have absolutely no idea about the state of their mental health. You do, however, have a responsibility to understand that the consequences of your actions may severely harm them. We only need to look at cases right up and down the country where people have taken their own lives after being the subject of cyber bullying.

It comes to something when a petition is started because of your actions.

In conclusion, it only remains for me to leave you with the song I have been listening to whilst typing. Remind you of anyone?

Yours Sincerely

Shonagh Dillon

CEO

Aurora New Dawn

What is Stalking Awareness Week?

National Stalking Awareness week is a time every year in which attention is drawn to the serious issues caused by stalker behaviour throughout the UK. In brief, stalking affects hundreds of thousands of men and women, therefore this week is used to put the spotlight on the damage done.

10 Stalking Awareness Week Facts

• Women are much more frequently stalked than men^[1].
• 44% of stalking cases lead to violence^[2]
• Of stalking cases, 43% of women and 29% of men who were stalked, were stalked by current or ex partners^[3].
• In a survey carried out in 2015^[4], it was found that 45% of stalking victims suffered from PTSD.
• Developments in technology have further complicated matters. In another survey done in 2011^[5], 92% of participants believed that they had been harassed through electronic communication.
• Very often victims of stalking lose wages due to taking sick leave, quitting their job, or even being sacked^[6].
• A study done in America^[7] found that 1 in 4 women experienced damage to their property as a direct result of stalking.
• Many victims of stalking withdraw from their family and friends due to embarrassment or a belief that they are endangering them^[8].
• Stalking victims often suffer from^[9]:
  • High levels of anxiety
  • Panic attacks
  • Hyper-vigilance
  • Suicidal idealization
  • distrust and detachment from other people
• 76% of women who were murdered by their current or former partner were stalked by their killer in the 12 months leading up to their death^[9].

Stalking Awareness Week Dates

2021	April 19 – April 23
2022	April 18 – April 22

Who stalks?

Hollywood likes to depict stalkers as mentally disturbed individuals or obsessed fans^[11], however this is a common misrepresentation. A stalker could be an ex-partner, a friend, a colleague, a professional you know, an acquaintance or a stranger.

How do they stalk?

There is no legal definition of stalking, but it is generally understood to be a fixation on someone demonstrated through a series of unwanted behaviours that may seem subtle or harmless initially, but become intimidating and very frightening.

These behaviours include, but are not limited to:

• Persistently calling or texting you or sending you messages via social media
• Turning up to your house, school or workplace
• Waiting around places you often go to
• Sending or leaving you gifts or items
• Using social media and internet forums to find out information about you
• Using this information as a way to manipulate or coerce you
• Damaging or breaking things that belong to you
• Contacting people around you, such as your friends and family
• Threatening to harm themselves
• Making threats against you or any of your friends or family

What can you do?

Take some time to have a look at your social media privacy settings online and on your phone. Are your location service settings on? Who can see your photos? Who can tag you? Are your historical posts as private as your recent ones? Is there anyone you want to block access from? Do you have any old social media accounts you don’t use anymore that you can close down?

• If you receive frequent unwanted communication, or you see someone loitering around, keep a diary of what they’re saying and when and where they’re appearing.
• Take photos of gifts or written messages left for you and any items that have been damaged, but only when it is safe to do so.
• Do not engage with the person who is stalking you.
• Change your routine where you can and put other things in place that help you to feel safer – carrying a charged mobile phone on you, for example.
• Talk to people about what’s happening. Your friends and family may be able to help you keep records of sightings and messages and will be there to support you.
• Report the stalking to the police. Keep records of the officers you speak with and the crime reference numbers you’re given.

If you’re worried that you’re being stalked and want to talk to someone about it, you can contact Aurora New Dawn on 02392 479 254. We’re available throughout Stalking Awareness Week to support you to explore your options.

Next step…

Do you want to get in touch with us?

Click here to get in touch with Aurora

Want to know more about our stalking service?

Click here to see our stalking service

Want to donate to our cause? 💜

Click here to support us

Aurora New Dawn are thrilled to announce that we have been awarded funding from the Big Lottery to deliver our DVA Car service across South-East Hampshire over the next 3 years.

Working alongside Hampshire Constabulary, specialist workers from Aurora New Dawn will respond with officers to incidents of domestic abuse as they happen, offering emotional support to survivors, completing risk assessments, and facilitating referrals to local services for ongoing support.

Through working in partnership with Hampshire Constabulary in this way, Aurora is able to offer specialist, independent support at the time it is needed most, with the project set to support up to 750 survivors over the next three years.

Shonagh Dillon, Chief Executive of Aurora New Dawn, says: “Our vision is to end discrimination against women through offering protection, safety and support. We know that two women are murdered by a current or former partner every week in England and Wales, and that on average a victim will have been abused around 35 times before they call the police. This service gives us a chance to reach out and offer face to face support at times when domestic abuse is most likely to occur, on Friday and Saturday nights. We are very excited about working in partnership with Hampshire Constabulary on this project and incredibly thankful to the Big Lottery Fund for this grant to enable us to support so many survivors.”

 

 

Aurora New Dawn have become the first voluntary sector organisation in Hampshire to be awarded Leading Lights accreditation by the national agency Co-Ordinated Action Against Domestic Abuse (CAADA) for work with victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

What is the award?

The award recognises the contribution of Aurora’s Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (known as IDVAs), who work with victims at high risk of serious harm or murder. Advisors work closely with victims and other services, such as police, social services and housing, to reduce the risk of harm to survivors and their children.

CAADA’s Leading Lights accreditation is the national and highest mark of quality for domestic abuse services. The status recognises that Aurora IDVAs provide a gold-standard, safety-focused service at every level that puts victim and survivors at the heart of the organisation’s work.

Aurora New Dawn is only the 39^th service to be accredited in the UK, just 3 years after the service’s inception. The process of accreditation takes around 12 months, and involves the separate assessment and accreditation of the service manager, the submission of an extensive evidence dossier and, finally, an assessment visit from the CAADA Leading Lights Team.

Zoe Jackson, Operations Manager said:

“We are incredibly proud to have achieved Leading Lights Status, particularly within just 3 years of us starting out. The status reflects the high standards we expect from our service and is a real credit to the incredible work of our frontline staff. Our team are working closely with clients every day and the assessment process looked at every aspect of their work, including complete scrutiny of our case files, risk assessment, safety planning, advocacy and beyond.

We are also delighted to be specifically recognised for seeking regular feedback from all who use our service and incorporating their experiences into the ongoing development of our organisation. In the last 9 months 100% of our clients have told us they feel safer as a direct result of working with our IDVAs and it’s fantastic to see that work recognised.”

CEO Shonagh Dillon said:

“The whole team and I are so thrilled about being awarded Leading Lights status. Survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking have always been at the centre of our practice and we are committed to continuing this as the organisation grows. It’s really gratifying to our frontline team to receive such a commendation of their work at a time of such great financial challenge for domestic violence services, particularly as Leading Lights status will help us to attract funding in the future.

“The accreditation will definitely help us to keep working closely with victims and survivors in Hampshire, to keep improving our services and to increase the safety of the many families who suffer in silence every day as a result of domestic abuse. We’re very grateful to CAADA for their guidance and support and we’re very excited to continue our work with them in the future.”

The Chair of the Internal Accreditation Panel said:  

‘We’re delighted to have awarded Leading Lights status to Aurora New Dawn. What came through during the assessment process was a firm commitment from the team to get it right first time for victims of abuse. We were pleased with their determination to use data to learn and improve, setting and achieving really high standards of support.’

UPDATE: We raised just over £7K for victims and survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking. Aurora would like to extend our thanks to all who walked, donated and raised awareness on the night.

Victims of domestic abuse walk on hot coals every day in fear of aggression and violence from perpetrators. On November 28th 2014, Aurora New Dawn staff and supporters will be undertaking a challenge to walk on hot coals to raise money for victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

Shonagh Dillon, Chief Executive of Aurora New Dawn is taking the challenge along with several members of the team.

She said, “For the last 5 years, we’ve run the Reclaim the Night March in Portsmouth to raise awareness of violence against women in Portsmouth and the surrounding area. This year we wanted to do something different.

“We decided to undertake the Hot Coals challenge to highlight the daily experience of victims of domestic violence and their families, who walk on hot coals every day with the threat of violence to keep themselves safe and avoid harm.

“At the same time, we’ll be raising money for the White Ribbon campaign, which brings men and women together in the struggle to end violence against women.”

The campaign urges people to take the White Ribbon pledge “never to commit, condone, or remain silent about men’s violence against women in all its forms.”

You can sponsor Shonagh via Just Giving or share the link with your friends and spread the word.

To find out more about supporting White Ribbon and Aurora New Dawn, or about the Hot Coals challenge, email us at info@aurorand.org.uk

Aurora New Dawn was proud to be among a group of 7 deputations made to Portsmouth City Council concerning the relocation of lap-dancing club Elegance to a property on Albert Road.

The Council’s Planning Committee voted unanimously to reject the application from local lap-dancing club owner, Paul Ojla.

We have a number of reasons why we object to the application.

First and foremost, Aurora New Dawn supports the women’s bodies are not a commodity to be bought and sold, acknowledging the United Nations’ Convention to Eliminate Discrimination Against Women (CEDAW), which calls on the government to reduce the objectification of women to advance gender equality.

This requirement was highlighted by remarks from the UN Special Rapporteur earlier this year, who said there was “a more visible presence of sexist portrayals of women and girls” and a “marketisation of women’s and girls’ bodies” in the UK, which was more pervasive than elsewhere.

The Gender Equality Duty (2007) places a legal obligation on Portsmouth City Council to ensure that their decisions do not have a negative impact on women’s equality and require the Council to actively promote gender equality and to work towards countering gender stereotypes.

Lap-dancing is an industry staffed almost exclusively by women for male clientele, so the Council’s policy on lap-dancing falls under the Duty. Recognition of the gendered nature of the industry played a role in the campaign for the Council to introduce an SEV Policy for the city, which was passed in 2012.

The SEV Policy commits the Council to a ‘Nil Cap’ on any further lap-dancing clubs in the city. While Elegance has a license for its premises in Granada Road, as SEV licenses are non-transferable, re-locating the club would trigger the Council’s nil cap policy.

The proposed site is immediately adjacent to the Wedgewood Rooms, a nationally well known and popular performance venue attracting large numbers of young people, including under 16s, making it wholly inappropriate as a location for a sexual entertainment venue (SEV).

Although the decision was made unanimously and supported by a local campaign led by councillors, Mr Ojla is entitled to appeal the decision.

Speaking about the appeal, Shonagh Dillon, Chief Executive of Aurora New Dawn, “We’re delighted that the local campaign against the move has been so successful.

“If Mr Ojla decides to appeal, we look forward to campaigning again to uphold the decision, and ensuring that Portsmouth City Council keeps its own SEV licensing policy, approved in 2012.”

Aurora was an active partner in the campaign to introduce the SEV policy, alongside the Solent Feminist Network and local residents.

At Christmas and New Year, the number of domestic and sexual violence incidents goes up.

Unfortunately, funding for the services that help victims doesn’t.

Aurora New Dawn is a charity that will be working hard for victims and survivors throughout the holidays. If you’d like to help us do this, there are a number of ways you can support our work.

DONATE BY TEXT

Donating just £3, £5, £10 or even more will help to bring safety and support to victims and families when they need it most.

Simply text RFAV27 followed by the amount you want to donate to 70070

DONATE AS YOU SHOP

Now you can help Aurora New Dawn as you do your Christmas shopping online.

Shop with your favourite stores this Christmas and they’ll donate to us – without charging you a penny more.

All you need to do is join and install Give as you Live.

Start raising funds now by clicking on this link –  http://www.giveasyoulive.com/join/aurora-new-dawn/ct53754

And here’s what happens next…

1. Visit the website and click “Get started”.

2. Fill in a quick few details. Your information is safe.

3. Install Give as you Live. This is 100% secure and takes seconds.

Watch this ‘how it works’ video to learn more about Give as you Live – http://www.giveasyoulive.com/howitworks

Every time you shop online you can raise money for AURORA NEW DAWN – without putting your hand deeper into your pocket.

And if you can’t spare any money, why not help by sharing this page on Facebook or Twitter?

 

© Everyclick Ltd and AURORA NEW DAWN, 2013. All rights reserved.

Everyclick is a company registered in England and Wales. Company number 5181419

Registered address: Basepoint Business Centre, Crab Apple Way, Vale Business Park, Evesham, Worcestershire, WR11 1GP.

 

Dear Nigella,

We wanted to send you this open letter to express our support and admiration for you at the end of a difficult week. We also want to let victims and survivors know that no one has to go through the experience of violence or abuse alone.

We have no way of knowing the details of your marriage – nor should we, it’s nobody’s business but yours – but as a service working with victims of domestic abuse, there are many things about your experiences during this week’s trial that were very familiar to us, particularly in light of the shocking photographs in the media this summer.

This week you described parts of your relationship as resembling ‘intimate terrorism’. This phrase perfectly captures the coercive and controlling behaviour exhibited by many perpetrators. For many victims of domestic abuse, violence is only one element of this control, which can also include limiting a partner’s social contact with others, extreme possessiveness, and portraying the victim as somehow being the ‘cause’ of the violence enacted against them.

Of course, we know this isn’t true. While many perpetrators of abuse and violence exhibit ‘uncontrollable’ anger towards their victims, most also possess the self control not to extend the same rage or violence towards others. In fact, this can be one of the many ways in which perpetrators seek to persuade victims that the abuse is actually their own fault.

We also know that it takes incredible strength to leave an abusive relationship. But unfortunately, even when abusive relationships end, the abuse often doesn’t.

Every day, we see perpetrators who will use any means at their disposal to continue their pattern of coercion and control. Leaving the relationship does not stop the abuse, it often exacerbates it, leaving victims and survivors at their most vulnerable.

Even when perpetrators admit abuse – as Mr Saatchi did when he accepted a police caution for common assault this summer – many will still claim to be the victims of violence or abuse themselves. It is not uncommon for perpetrators to attempt to mask the truth of their own behaviour by expressing concern for their victim while smearing their name with allegations of bad parenting or drug-taking, for example.

Some victims use drugs or alcohol as a way of coping with violent and abusive behaviour. Such drug use often ends when the victim is free from the relationship and safe, because this coping mechanism is no longer needed.

By speaking out this week about your experiences, you show women everywhere that an abusive relationship can happen to any woman, at any time. You have also shown that victims can leave abusive relationships when they are ready, with the help and support of friends, family or supporting services.

Your strength and dignity show all victims and survivors that they are not alone, and like you, they can move on to a new and better life. For this we cannot thank you enough and we are proud to be part of #TeamNigella.

Yours, with much admiration,

The Aurora New Dawn Team

 

At Christmas and New Year, the number of domestic and sexual violence incidents goes up. Unfortunately, funding for the services that help victims doesn’t. If you can spare £3, £5, £10 or even more to support Aurora New Dawn, a local charity that will be working hard for local victims and survivors throughout the holidays, you will help to bring safety and support to victims and families when they need it most.

Simply text RFAV27 followed by the amount you want to donate to 70070

And if you can’t spare any money, why not help by sharing this page on Facebook or Twitter.

Following the recent awarding of a contract to run Sexual Assault Referral Centres in the West Midlands to private sector giant G4S, Aurora New Dawn have launched a petition to highlight the danger to victims and survivors of privatising specialist support services.

Chief Executive of Aurora New Dawn, Shonagh Dillon, released the following statement:

“It is essential that sexual assault referral centres and services for those experiencing violence and abuse are recognised for being specialist areas.

We believe that the contracting out of these services to the private sector limits the involvement of the expertise in the area meaning that the complexities of the needs of survivors of violence and abuse will go unmet.

We believe this is about money not support.

Not-for-profit organisations in the violence against women sector aim for results for the survivor before results for the government’s pocket.

Please sign in support of all survivors and the specialist services that work for them.”

SIGN AND SHARE THE PETITION HERE.

Follow this story here:

New Statesman, Alan White : ‘Rape cannot be monetised’: Outsourcing and housing for asylum-seekers

Kazuri Homes: ‘G4S – Fit for Purpose or a Public Liability?’

Guardian, Alan Travis: G4S contract to run sexual assault referral centres damned

UPDATE: 2 July 2013

We have received a response from NHS England about our petition, which is now closed. Download and read the full response below and read coverage of this story from our Writer in Residence over at Women’s Views on News.

NHS England G4S SARC petition

 

Approximately 200 people flocked to Portsmouth Football Club for a night of eating, drinking, dancing and merry-making – all in the fantastic cause of raising money to support victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

A range of games throughout the evening raised awareness of the complex reality of violence against women and girls (VAWG), hidden violence and gender-based violence.

A Special Auction gave rise to some incredible donations to Aurora New Dawn with guests bidding for a wide range of fantastic gifts, including an Albert Square street sign signed by the cast of Eastenders, a professional race-driving session at Silverstone, and acting lessons with Doctors actor, Matt Chambers.

Chair of the Board, Sally Jackson, Aurora patron Lauren Jarron, and Chief Executive Shonagh Dillon gave speeches throughout the evening about different aspects of Aurora’s work and its importance as part of the global fight against VAWG and the ongoing struggle for equality and gender justice.

Patron Lauren Jarron explained the increasing importance for the voluntary sector of finding pioneering partnerships with private sector organisations looking for innovative ways to improve or expand the remit for Corporate Social Responsibility (CSR):

“There is a strong synergy between Aurora’s mission and my beliefs, which is why I am so happy to be involved their work.  I believe every individual has a right to a future.  

 

Aurora aims to “End discrimination against women through offering protection, safety, support and empowerment” and I want to empower women to realise their true potential – to have a positive impact for themselves, and for society – culturally and economically.” 

 

Chair of the Board of Aurora New Dawn, Sally Jackson, highlighted Aurora’s work in the context of the global struggle of women for equality and justice.

Chief Executive Shonagh Dillon gave the closing speech before officially opening the dancefloor for the night, with a powerful reminder of why everyone came together at the Ball:

2 women every week die as a direct result of domestic violence and abuse. Two women. Every week.

 

It’s hard to connect with when it’s a faceless statistic, isn’t it? But look around the room with me for a second. Now imagine that if all of us met again here next week, two women would be gone. The following week two women more. The week after, two women more.

 

How long would it take before there were no women left in the room?

 

How many women would need to disappear before we were all shouting about it to the world?

 

Two women disappear from the lives of their friends and loved ones every week. But instead of disappearing from this room, they are disappearing from the UK.

 

A specially commissioned poem, Aurora, was read by Writer in Residence, which you can read here.

The first ever Butterfly Ball raised an incredible £7,000 for Aurora New Dawn. This money is already being used to fund the every day organisational costs of Aurora, providing the infrastructure that supports our frontline service delivery.

In this increasingly difficult funding climate, organisational costs are becoming more of a challenge for the voluntary sector as a whole, due to the fact that grant funding is often awarded on a project-by-project basis.

This means our fundraising activities are becoming more and more important to enable the daily support services (admin, management, and finance, for example) that allow our frontline workers to support victims and survivors.

“These are difficult times for the voluntary sector as a whole, and particularly for VAWG services due to the disproportionate impact of the government’s cuts programme on women, and particularly on specialist services supporting victims and survivors,” said Shonagh.

“It’s really no exaggeration to say that we couldn’t survive without our supporters, and this has made the success of our first ever fundraising Ball particularly poignant for me, and for our frontline Advocates. We owe everyone who supported the Ball a huge ‘Thank you!'”