Bidirectional violence, a foreword

Before we examine bidirectional violence, it is important to ask: How does a relationship evolve to be abusive? Does it take deliberate acts by one person against another to gain power and control bit by bit?

In my view an abusive relationship is every single section of the Duluth Power and Control Wheel:

Intimate Partner Terrorist

Acts of coercion, intimidation, emotional abuse, behaviours aimed at degrading, destroying and humiliating the other person to gain control. How is this control exerted? By the presence, use or threat of physical and sexual violence. Practitioners and survivors may be familiar with the term ‘intimate partner terrorist’ because that is what they are. Holding every person in that home to ransom in exchange for their emotional worth, their self-esteem and any desire to leave.

Three types of Perpetrator

Johnson (2006) after extensive research devised three terms to explain the subtypes of perpetrator that might be seen in intimate partner violence. These three terms include the intimate partner terrorist detailed above, violence resistance and situational couple violence. The term violence resistance denotes victims who in the face of further abuse, use learnt behaviours to protect themselves and behave violently for self-preservation. Differentially, situational couple violence is a term coined to describe toxic relationships in which there is violence but this is not about gaining power and control over the other person. Misunderstanding these terms can drastically increase risks to victims. Johnson himself stresses that the most dangerous of all abuse is intimate partner terrorism, which Aurora asserts is the real essence of what we are naming when we talk about domestic abuse.

The term ‘bidirectional violence’

In recent months, I have seen a new terminology being used. The term bidirectional violence has become common parlance in some multi-agency meetings. The term has been generated to capture relationships in which both parties use violence and/or abusive behaviours to one another. The term suggests that a single primary aggressor cannot be identified. My question then is how would a survivor feel? Particularly those who begin to resist and fight back, knowing that their acts of self-defense, their attempts at protecting themselves, their use of learned aggression against the perpetrator are seen as a balanced form of intimate partner violence?

How a relationship can evolve into bidirectional violence

Imagine knowing the mood of the perpetrator and being able to predict whether it is physical violence, verbal abuse, control tactics or the threat of a sexual assault that is brewing. However, one day out of fear you assault the perpetrator to protect yourself and the children. But this time they contact the police and you find yourself being arrested. The perpetrator actively claims victim status, giving details of all the times there have been other violent incidents. The normal safeguarding won’t apply to you now, because you have been a victim and are now a perpetrator. The perpetrator might get a visit from the safeguarding agencies, who will offer them support. Imagine then, that at the next multi-agency meeting, your experiences of control, psychological abuse, serious physical and sexual violence are reduced to ‘bi-directional’ violence.

What are we really saying? That she is as bad as him? Six of one, half a dozen of another. Frontline practitioners within Aurora would always be of the opinion that attitudes like this are archaic and patriarchal. We absolutely do not condone violence in any form. However, it is important in our work to explore the situation with a survivor who is beginning to fight back. We understand why this might happen, but we plan with them to ensure this doesn’t occur for the future safeguarding of everyone linked to the abuse, including the perpetrator. Some of our advocates have worked with women who have killed their partners in self-defense and the ramifications of this are lifelong.

Most importantly, if we don’t explore, we ignore the voice of the victim. Many survivors of abuse are likely to try and predict the violence, placating the perpetrator and doing what is necessary to avoid more serious injury. What the victim hears is that we do not understand her experiences. We ignore the gendered nature of domestic violence, we don’t delve deeper into the power and control in that relationship and we do not identify who the primary aggressor is. We completely overlook the victim’s experience and buy into the perpetrators narrative about ‘her being as bad as him.’

An example of bidirectional violence mislabelling

To evidence this point home further, January 8th 2018 saw the release of the Domestic Homicide Review into the murder of Katrina O’Hara on 7th January 2016 by her former partner (Mellor, 2018). The first police response into domestic abuse within this relationship was made on 10th November 2015 when both parties alleged they had been assaulted. The victim admitted to throwing some of the perpetrator’s stuff around. Within 58 days of making this report, the victim had been murdered. The DHR review made multiple recommendations but of note was point 6.9 which concluded that the first police attendance was mislabelled. Reviewing Police Officers determined that that the victim was ‘very much the perpetrator’ which changed the course of police responses. Ultimately, the victim’s confidence in the agencies tasked to protect her was undermined and she paid for this with her life.

How should we see bidirectional violence?

Domestic abuse is gendered. It affects disproportionately more women than men; two women die a week at the hands of abusive partners (Brennan, 2016). I urge frontline practitioners to consider this the next time you hear the term bidirectional violence. Use it as an opportunity to educate others and consider investigating further into what is really happening in that home. It’s important to understand that victims don’t generally shout about their victimhood, they minimise the behaviour, they make excuses for the perpetrator. They rarely if ever, shout about the abuse.

One way in which you can assess the legitimacy of counterclaims is to refer to the DYN project assessment ‘identifying legitimate victims’ (Robinson & Rowlands, 2006 pp34-35).

Perpetrators are incredibly good at getting professionals to collude with their behaviour. They can and will be very plausible. Let’s not allow them to use us in their power and control games against victims.

#HerNameWasKatrina

Hayley – Serial and Priority Perpetrator Co-ordinator – Aurora New Dawn – (Domestic Abuse Prevention Partnership (DAPP)).

*Hayley is a qualified probation officer and worked for the National Probation Service for twelve years before joining the Aurora team two years ago.*

References:

Brennan, D. (2016). The Femicide Census: Annual report on cases of Femicide in 2016. Women’s Aid Federation.

https://1q7dqy2unor827bqjls0c4rn-wpengine.netdna-ssl.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/The-Femicide-Census-Report-published-2017.pdf

Katrina O’ Hara DHR

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/domestic-abuse-police-katrina-ohara-failings-dorset-phone-taken-attacker-stuart-thomas-stalking-a8148726.html

Mellor, D. (2018) Domestic Homicide Review. “Sarah.”

Overview Report. Dorset: Dorset Community Safety Partnership

Johnson, M. P. (2006). Conflict and control: Gender symmetry and asymmetry in domestic violence. Violence against women, 12(11), 1003-1018.

Robinson, A., & Rowlands, J. (2006). The Dyn Project: Supporting Men Experiencing Domestic Abuse (pp. 34-35). Cardiff.

http://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/download?doi=10.1.1.538.716&rep=rep1&type=pdf

Aurora New Dawn have become the first voluntary sector organisation in Hampshire to be awarded Leading Lights accreditation by the national agency Co-Ordinated Action Against Domestic Abuse (CAADA) for work with victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

What is the award?

The award recognises the contribution of Aurora’s Independent Domestic Violence Advisors (known as IDVAs), who work with victims at high risk of serious harm or murder. Advisors work closely with victims and other services, such as police, social services and housing, to reduce the risk of harm to survivors and their children.

CAADA’s Leading Lights accreditation is the national and highest mark of quality for domestic abuse services. The status recognises that Aurora IDVAs provide a gold-standard, safety-focused service at every level that puts victim and survivors at the heart of the organisation’s work.

Aurora New Dawn is only the 39^th service to be accredited in the UK, just 3 years after the service’s inception. The process of accreditation takes around 12 months, and involves the separate assessment and accreditation of the service manager, the submission of an extensive evidence dossier and, finally, an assessment visit from the CAADA Leading Lights Team.

Zoe Jackson, Operations Manager said:

“We are incredibly proud to have achieved Leading Lights Status, particularly within just 3 years of us starting out. The status reflects the high standards we expect from our service and is a real credit to the incredible work of our frontline staff. Our team are working closely with clients every day and the assessment process looked at every aspect of their work, including complete scrutiny of our case files, risk assessment, safety planning, advocacy and beyond.

We are also delighted to be specifically recognised for seeking regular feedback from all who use our service and incorporating their experiences into the ongoing development of our organisation. In the last 9 months 100% of our clients have told us they feel safer as a direct result of working with our IDVAs and it’s fantastic to see that work recognised.”

CEO Shonagh Dillon said:

“The whole team and I are so thrilled about being awarded Leading Lights status. Survivors of domestic abuse, sexual violence and stalking have always been at the centre of our practice and we are committed to continuing this as the organisation grows. It’s really gratifying to our frontline team to receive such a commendation of their work at a time of such great financial challenge for domestic violence services, particularly as Leading Lights status will help us to attract funding in the future.

“The accreditation will definitely help us to keep working closely with victims and survivors in Hampshire, to keep improving our services and to increase the safety of the many families who suffer in silence every day as a result of domestic abuse. We’re very grateful to CAADA for their guidance and support and we’re very excited to continue our work with them in the future.”

The Chair of the Internal Accreditation Panel said:  

‘We’re delighted to have awarded Leading Lights status to Aurora New Dawn. What came through during the assessment process was a firm commitment from the team to get it right first time for victims of abuse. We were pleased with their determination to use data to learn and improve, setting and achieving really high standards of support.’

Dear Nigella,

We wanted to send you this open letter to express our support and admiration for you at the end of a difficult week. We also want to let victims and survivors know that no one has to go through the experience of violence or abuse alone.

We have no way of knowing the details of your marriage – nor should we, it’s nobody’s business but yours – but as a service working with victims of domestic abuse, there are many things about your experiences during this week’s trial that were very familiar to us, particularly in light of the shocking photographs in the media this summer.

This week you described parts of your relationship as resembling ‘intimate terrorism’. This phrase perfectly captures the coercive and controlling behaviour exhibited by many perpetrators. For many victims of domestic abuse, violence is only one element of this control, which can also include limiting a partner’s social contact with others, extreme possessiveness, and portraying the victim as somehow being the ‘cause’ of the violence enacted against them.

Of course, we know this isn’t true. While many perpetrators of abuse and violence exhibit ‘uncontrollable’ anger towards their victims, most also possess the self control not to extend the same rage or violence towards others. In fact, this can be one of the many ways in which perpetrators seek to persuade victims that the abuse is actually their own fault.

We also know that it takes incredible strength to leave an abusive relationship. But unfortunately, even when abusive relationships end, the abuse often doesn’t.

Every day, we see perpetrators who will use any means at their disposal to continue their pattern of coercion and control. Leaving the relationship does not stop the abuse, it often exacerbates it, leaving victims and survivors at their most vulnerable.

Even when perpetrators admit abuse – as Mr Saatchi did when he accepted a police caution for common assault this summer – many will still claim to be the victims of violence or abuse themselves. It is not uncommon for perpetrators to attempt to mask the truth of their own behaviour by expressing concern for their victim while smearing their name with allegations of bad parenting or drug-taking, for example.

Some victims use drugs or alcohol as a way of coping with violent and abusive behaviour. Such drug use often ends when the victim is free from the relationship and safe, because this coping mechanism is no longer needed.

By speaking out this week about your experiences, you show women everywhere that an abusive relationship can happen to any woman, at any time. You have also shown that victims can leave abusive relationships when they are ready, with the help and support of friends, family or supporting services.

Your strength and dignity show all victims and survivors that they are not alone, and like you, they can move on to a new and better life. For this we cannot thank you enough and we are proud to be part of #TeamNigella.

Yours, with much admiration,

The Aurora New Dawn Team

 

At Christmas and New Year, the number of domestic and sexual violence incidents goes up. Unfortunately, funding for the services that help victims doesn’t. If you can spare £3, £5, £10 or even more to support Aurora New Dawn, a local charity that will be working hard for local victims and survivors throughout the holidays, you will help to bring safety and support to victims and families when they need it most.

Simply text RFAV27 followed by the amount you want to donate to 70070

And if you can’t spare any money, why not help by sharing this page on Facebook or Twitter.

Aurora New Dawn are currently working with police to explore how information sharing about extremely dangerous perpetrators could protect the public, as well as protecting victims of domestic and sexual violence.

Two cases have hit the headlines in recent years where the behaviour of the perpetrator in his relationships provided key indicators of the high level of danger these men posed – not just to individual intimate partners, but to the wider public.

Levi Bellfield was tried and convicted for the murder of Millie Dowler whilst already serving his sentence for the murders of Amelie Delagrange in 2004, Marsha McDonnell in 2003 and the attempted murder of Kate Sheedy in 2004.

A number of Levi’s ex-girlfriends described a similar pattern of behaviour by Levi. While charming and affectionate at the start of the relationship, a typical pattern of domestic abuse emerged within weeks. Bellfield was a known domestic violence perpetrator: he would isolate his partners, preventing contact with friends and family and even requiring them to seek his permission to go out.

During their relationship, Bellfield told one former partner that he had thoughts of hurting women.

One of Bellfield’s ex-girlfriends came forward after the murder of Amelie and identified him as a potential suspect. His name was added to the 129 names on the ‘Ex-girlfriends’ list.

Peter Tobin was convicted in 2007 for the murder of Angelika Kluk, with further murder convictions following in 2008 and 2009 for the murders of Vicky Hamilton and Dinah McNichol. He was also convicted of child abuse, although the full extent of his crimes remains unknown and is the subject of an ongoing police operation.

Tobin’s relationship history was one of extreme abuse, characterised by strangulation, sexual violence and ‘house arrests’, as well as physical assault. In one particularly brutal incident, his partner was assaulted so badly she bled through the ceiling.

Aurora’s Operations Manager, Zoe, said “What intelligence could we have had about these individuals if we were looking at their behaviour in their relationships?”

One of the key problems here is the silencing of victims and the consistent issue of not believing allegations of abuse or violence – an issue that has shaped a number of key campaigns this year, including MumsNet’s WeBelieveYou and the hashtag in solidarity with the victim of footballer Ched Evans, #WeBelieveHer.

“The victim’s perception of abusive behaviour is one of the most accurate ways we have of measuring risk,” said Zoe.

“In cases where victims have been murdered by their partners, we look back and see that she was consistently saying she was extremely afraid and believed he was going to kill her.”

Not all perpetrators will pose a public risk, Zoe makes clear.

“Most perpetrators are not a danger to anyone else other than people they are in a relationship with. However, with some cases, their abusive behaviour in the home tells us about a wider risk and the risk assessments we undertake with victims can provide information that could be used for public protection and even crime prevention.”

Aurora are currently working with a range of partner organisations, including the police, to explore how the information victims and survivors share with our staff – particularly in relation to sexual violence – might be shared with public agencies to make better links around public protection.

“Victims’ perceptions must be taken seriously,” said Zoe.

“Think about it. A victim knows her partner and she knows their behaviour – more so than anybody else.”

This article is based on a presentation given by Zoe, our Operations Manager to a number of 2^nd year Criminology students from the University of Portsmouth recently.

The presentation draws on Criminal Behavioural Analyst Laura Richards’ DASH Risk Assessment Masterclass, which examines the process of risk assessment in domestic abuse cases and explores the relationship between domestic abuse and wider public protection issues. Both Zoe and Aurora’s Chief Exec Shonagh are accredited by Laura Richards to deliver the Masterclass.

If you would like more information on booking a speaker from Aurora New Dawn, or want to find out more about the DASH Masterclass Training, please contact us on 023 9247 9254.